One of the greatest dilemmas we face is making the choice between pursuing a goal in spite of difficulties and giving up because of the difficulties. When faced with obstacles, do we persist and strengthen our resolve or do we concede, let go and walk a new path? While the phrase “quitters can’t be winners” stands true, there is also wisdom behind the saying, “quit while you’re ahead”.
Take the example of my high- school friend. It took him five tries to pass the Bar, but, at the age of 50, he finally succeeded at his dream to become a lawyer. He is now considering joining the judiciary. In contrast, a relative of mine took the Bar four times and never passed but, eventually, found a career in public service. Both men failed multiple times. When faced with the question of persistence and letting go, they chose differently. Again: how do we know when it is the right time to choose between persisting and quitting?
For entrepreneurs and start-up companies, the difference between success and failure is a factor of time. How long must they wait to pivot and change direction? Amazon founder Jeff Bezos says, “We are stubborn on vision. We are flexible on details…. We don’t give up on things easily.” It took a while for Amazon to be where it is now. But the formula of not giving up does not always have successful endings. For instance, the US-based low-cost airline People Express had very promising beginnings inasmuch as their initial flights were sold out. But after only six years of operation, it had to be sold due to enormous debts and, eventually, merged with Continental Airlines. Amazon Inc. chose to persist, People Express chose to quit.
In romantic relationships, quitting too early can lead to regrets in the future, but, at the same time, pursuing a pipe dream can lead to psychological problems. My friend thought that he was on the verge of committing to the love of his life. Unfortunately, she was not ready to commit. To know whether such situation is a comma (,) and persist or a period (.) and give up is the key to a blissful life.
Leaders are often given that natural gift of intuition, defined as a direct perception of a fact independent of any reasoning process. Inspirational speaker and author John Maxwell said a leader with intuition can “smell the change in the wind”. Intuition relies more on a “sixth sense” rather than facts and figures. When General George Patton decided to push his Third Army way into the German enemy lines with little regard as to his logistical support, he intuitively relied on intangible factors, such as timing, momentum and morale. While other leaders are not born with a Patton-like intuition, they can actually develop and build intuitive skills like a muscle. Some opined that leaders can develop intuition by being more observant of and “reading” the situation we operate in, including trends, resources and, most of all, people. Servant leaders can reinforce their ability to read people by reading leadership, relationship and self-help books and by simply interacting with people from all walks of life. There is no formula to know when to persist or quit. However, intuition helps us to be aware of details that will likely elude others. Intuition can help us sense when something is happening and conditions are about to change.
Intuition has little basis in science and logic. In romantic relationships, if the pursuit of a loved one is making you a better person, then persist.
Conversely, if the journey toward being together is taking a toll on your mental being, then quit.
It has been said that what you are becoming is more important than what you are doing. Ultimately, the person faced with the predicament of persisting or quitting will have to choose what he wants to become and what he is becoming throughout the journey.
American philosopher Wayne Dyer explains intuition. He says, “If prayer is you talking to God, then intuition is when God speaks to you.” In Job 33:14, the Bible tells us, “God does speak—sometimes one way and sometimes another—even though people may not understand it.” Best-selling author and pastor Rick Warren mentions four channels: namely, the Bible, teachers, impressions, and circumstances, which we can use to understand Him. Warren further said that whenever we listen to Him through these channels, sometimes He will lead us in ways that we will never understand. And similar to intuition, reliance to His Word will have little basis in logic and science.
When asked for guidelines when to persist or quit, a good friend from Bacolod told me, “Trust His plan, His will and, most of all, His timing.” The moment we place our trust in Him, we will experience that eureka moment of clarity when the answer to the greatest dilemma in life comes out crystal clear. While I must admit that intuition helps, I still say it is more about faith.
For questions and comments, please e-mail me at sbmison@gmail.com.