Dear PR Matters,
I read with interest your column the other week when a reader asked how she could improve her negotiating skills.
With that, I have come to learn how negotiating is much like an art and can be helpful in many instances. I do sales work for a medium-sized company, and would like to ask tips on how to develop my negotiating skills.
Will it be possible to share some tips with me?
Sincerely,
RJ L.
Dear RJ,
We are glad you found our column on negotiation interesting.
As we have mentioned before, negotiating skills are not only important when we are closing major contracts, but in our day-to-day interactions. We negotiate all the time, in life and in work.
The fact that you do sales means you have a great appreciation of the power of negotiating. John Rampton, an entrepreneur and investor, wrote about 13 negotiating techniques that never fail for Inc.com, which I found very appropriate for your question.
Rampton begins by emphasizing that “negotiating isn’t about getting what you want or giving in to what the other party wants. It’s not an either/or situation.”
Rather, it’s about “having both parties walk away satisfied. “Taking a win-win perspective is something he said he had to learn the hard way over the years.
Here are 13 negotiation techniques he shares with us:
- Do your homework. In short, research rules and knowledge are power. “Never come to the table unprepared,” said Rampton, who maintains it is best to “research your counterpart in advance so you can exactly identify what you want and have the data to back it up.
- Label your feelings. Rampton said that “by giving your feelings a name, you’re identifying how you feel.” He quoted Michael McMains and Wayman C. Mullins, who, in Crisis Negotiations, Fourth Edition: Managing Critical Incidents and Hostage Situations in Law Enforcements, show how an additive emphatic response (recognizing feelings without judging them) is a better than subtractive empathy, which minimizes the subject’s feelings and is often judgmental.
- Implement a number scale. This means measuring how strongly you and your counterpart want something. “Put a number on it,” Rampton said. “A No. 1, for example, is neutral, and a 10 would be something you can’t live without.” Hopefully, “this will lead to both parties eventually compromising or coming up with an alternative,” he said.
- Don’t focus on “winning.” “Negotiation is not a competition,” said Stuart Diamond, a Harvard Law School graduate who teaches negotiation tactics and strategies to students and Fortune 500 executives at the Wharton School of Business in Pennsylvania. “It’s a collaboration.”
“If you think of it as winning, you will think about beating them,” he added. “And if you do that, you will not collaborate as much.” Ultimately, “you have to define your goals and then take the proper actions and reactions to each of those goals,” Rampton said.
- Ask open-ended questions. In order to make the other party open up, Rampton observed it is best to ask thought-provoking questions, like “what does a perfect deal look like to you?” or “how do see this deal being finalized?”
These are, he said, “open-minded questions that gain trust and don’t make the other party feel like you’re trying to press them into quick answers. Gain their trust and you’ll get a quicker deal.”
- Be prepared to give something up. The truth is, “you’re not going to get everything you want.” As such, it’s best to “identify the areas where you’re willing to be flexible and where you’re not. For example, when dealing with a vendor, you may be willing to pay them a higher rate for their goods because they offer the best payment terms for your business.
- Share information. “We often approach negotiation by being very guarded and wary of showing our cards,” Kristi Hedges wrote in Forbes. However, studies have found revealing “at least a little information can help increase the outcome.”
Hedges added, “Simply putting something of yourself out there—your hobbies, personal concerns or hopes—can set a position tone that’s conducive to gaining agreement.”
- Go for a walk. “Sometimes, we need to take a breather and change the scenery when we are at a stalemate,” Rampton said. Besides, “walking gives us a chance to gain a different perspective, gets the creative juices flowing and elevates your mood.” It’s also a great way to keep our body and mind fit and active.
- Make the first move. Rampton believes that if you make the first move, “you’re giving yourself a home-field advantage.” In purchasing a new home, for example, “if you make the first offer below the asking price, the realtor has to rebuttal with a price that’s more in your favor.”
It is also his observation that, in negotiation, “I’ve always found the person that makes the first move has the most power.”
- Clarify any misconceptions. During the negotiation process, “It’s common for misconceptions to occur, since both parties assume what the other person is saying or thinking. This can lead to conflicts or disagreements.”
Rampton said that “anytime there is a disagreement or see a confused look on the other party’s face, ask them to repeat the deal on how they see it. This will allow you to see it from their perspective.” After all, we are all different, and it’s best to clarify things so we can come to terms.
- “A pause can be your secret weapon, since it encourages the other party to speak up or cool down when things get heated,” Rampton said.
Gary Noeser, author of Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator, wrote, “By remaining silent at the right times, negotiators can move the overall negotiation process forward.”
- Use your emotional intelligence. We can never predict the outcome of a negotiation, so it’s best to use our emotional intelligence (EI) and instinct. EI “allows you to manage your emotions, show empathy and prevent you from getting distracted. It also helps you solve problems and be a more likable person.”
- Keep your statements brief. Keeping your statement brief is part of actively listening and illustrates that you’re not only paying attention, but also giving them the floor. Noeser said, “Even relatively simple phrases as ‘yes,’ ‘okay,’ or ‘I see’ effectively convey that the negotiator is paying attention to the subject. These responses will encourage the subject to continue talking and gradually relinquish more control of the situation to the negotiator.”
Rampton has one final tip: “Though we always want to be right and make a deal, I’ve found that if I am willing to walk from a deal, I have the power.”
Good luck, RJ, in your day-to-day life and work negotiations.
PR Matters is a roundtable column by members of the local chapter of the UK based International Public Relations Association, the world’s premier association for senior professionals around the world. Millie Dizon, the SVP for Marketing and Communications of SM, is the local chairman.
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