AS soon as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s coupling went official in 2005, the entertainment media (as well as Jennifer Aniston diehard fans) have been predicting the demise of their relationship.
These mean people finally got their wish, as TMZ reported on Tuesday that Jolie had filed for divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences” with Pitt, especially over the latter’s parenting skills. Did he spank Pax? Lay down a curfew for Zaharah? Told Maddox he was too young to get a girlfriend? (I’m pretty sure they have more children, but those are the only names I’ve memorized.) As of press time, the New York Post’s Page Six has reported the cause of the split was because Brad has been carrying on an affair with the divine Marion Cotillard. (They did a movie together, the upcoming Allied.) As the item goes, Jolie had a private investigator follow Brad after she suspected an affair, and quickly had her worst fears confirmed.
As the news continues to unfold, the couple will undergo more scrutiny, with the media trying to pinpoint the exact time when the relationship soured.
And then there’s Jennifer Aniston. As soon as news of Jolie’s filing for divorce against Pitt hit the Internet, predictably so, we all thought about poor sweet Jen/Rachel. How her fans cried with her when her then-husband supposedly started making more than nice with Jolie while both filmed Mr. and Mrs. Smith. So what must Aniston be thinking now that the guy who dumped her, got dumped, in turn, by his wife?
Of course, rumors that Aniston’s marriage to actor and screenwriter Justin Theroux is on a rocky decline, as well, are fanning flames that a “Brad and Jen” reconciliation is in the offing. The gossip pages are rife with supposedly insider-sourced stories about Aniston feeling that Theroux has just been too preoccupied with his work. (He stars in HBO’s The Leftovers, which has since relocated its filming to Australia.) Meanwhile, here’s a bit of trivia for you: Theroux’s famous uncle, the novelist and travel writer Paul Theroux (The Mosquito Coast) once lumped Pitt and Jolie with “mythomaniacs, people who wish to convince the world of their worth,” this for their work in Africa.
He continues in his New York Times piece about the couple some yers ago: “Watching Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie recently in Ethiopia, cuddling African children and lecturing the world on charity, the image that immediately sprang to mind was Tarzan and Jane.” Hahaha! Love it!)
Honestly, what bothers me more is the news that chef/traveler/TV host Anthony Bourdain has separated from his wife of nine years, the kick-ass (literally!) Ottavia Busia. They were such an unconventional couple that I was particularly fond of, after I read that Bourdain fell in love with her after watching her gorge on a 9-pound lobster. And this was on a date, by the way.
But I suppose, the separation is more of a formality; after all, Bourdain traipses around the world for his show Parts Unknown about 250 days in a year, while Ottavia and their daughter Ariane are left in New York. Not that Ottavia had been twiddling her thumbs waiting for her husband to come home; she is now a mixed martial-arts fighter. But they are separated most of the time, with Bourdain only home usually for family holidays, according to Ottavia.
When home, Bourdain supposedly tried his best to strengthen the family bond, by training in Brazilian jujitsu with Ottavia and Ariane. But it’s pretty clear it is not his most favorite thing in the world. (Give Bourdain a break, he’s 60 and takes statins for his high cholesterol.)
The separation is more friendly in the Bourdain-Ottavia case. There is no third party, they said, but their respective “professional decisions” have led to the uncoupling. Nothing really to be sorry about, they underscore, as they are both enjoying their respective careers.
A divorce (or legal separation or annulment), especially after a couple has been together for nine, 12 or even 25 years, is not a course of action one takes lightly. Most married couples who find themselves in a bit of a rut, or in a relationship that looks like is no longer going anywhere, will try in all earnestness to save their marriage. That is the instinct among most couples, especially if there are children involved.
How do you tell your children that Daddy and Mommy will no longer be with each other? But “yes, we still love each other…however, we can’t live in the same house anymore.” There is no right way or wrong way of breaking such terrible news to children. One can only hope that deep down, they understand it is for their best, and will somehow improve their quality of life.
(In the case of my friend B., for instance, her kids comprehended the gravity of her unfortunate relationship with their father, a serial cheater, that they supported their parents’ separation wholeheartedly.)
With the #walangforever memes and hashtags still trending post-Brangelina breakup, I choose to believe, though, that a relationship or marriage can last forever. My own parents were married for more than 50 years. All of us children saw them at their worst as a couple, and, yes, at their best, too. Toward the end of their lives, they were just normal, goofy, old people in love with each other. Who says we can’t have the same, too?