HAVE I not said here a thousand and one times that I have a book of speeches of American presidents, from George Washington to Bill Clinton? I just love reading the book each time allows—on the beach or under a shade, sipping lemonade, if not wine (if budget permits).
Washington’s first inaugural speech was delivered on April 30, 1789. He said: “Fellow citizens of the Senate and the House of Representatives: Among the vicissitudes incident to life no event could have filled me with greater anxieties than that of which the notification was transmitted by your order, and received on the 14th day of the present month. On the one hand, I was summoned by my country, whose voice I can never hear but with veneration and love, from a retreat which I had chosen with the fondest predilection and, in my flattering hopes, with an immutable decision, as the asylum of my declining years—a retreat which was rendered every day more necessary, as well as more dear to me by the addition of habit to inclination, and of frequent interruptions in my health to the gradual waste committed on it by time. On the other hand, the magnitude and difficulty of the trust to which the voice of my country called me, being sufficient to awaken in the wisest and most experienced of her citizens a distrustful scrutiny into his qualification, could not but overwhelm with despondence one who (interesting inferior endowments from nature and unpracticed in the duties of civil administration) ought to be peculiarly conscious of his own deficiencies. In this conflict of emotions all I dare aver is that it has been my faithful study to collect my duty from a just appreciation of every circumstance by which it might be affected. All I dare hope is that if, in executing this task, I have been too much swayed by a grateful remembrance of former instances, or by an affectionate sensibility to this transcendent proof of the confidence of my fellow citizens and have, thence, too little consulted my incapacity, as well as disinclination for the weighty and untried cares before me, my error will be palliated by the motives which mislead me, and its consequences be judged by my country with some share of the partiality in which they originated.”
That was just the opening paragraph. Did Washington not have a speechwriter? Or, are editors not yet in vogue then? Maybe, yes, to both. That speech was written 228 years ago.
But if his first inaugural address was kilometric, the second one, delivered on March 4, 1793, was but a breeze.
“Fellow citizens: I am again called upon by the voice of my country to execute the functions of its chief magistrate. When the occasion proper for it shall arrive, I shall endeavor to express the high sense I entertain of this distinguished honor, and of the confidence which has been reposed in me by the people of united America.
“Previous to the execution of any official act of the president the Constitution requires an oath of office. This oath I am now about to take, and in your presence: That if it shall be found during my administration of the government I have in any instance violated willingly or knowingly the injunctions thereof, I may (besides incurring constitutional punishment) be subject to the upbraiding of all who are now witnesses of the present solemn ceremony.”
That was the shortest presidential inaugural speech of all time.
Now to the main speech, delivered by Lexus Chairman Alfred Ty during the Lexus Invitational Cup on February 3:
“Lexus owners, welcome to the 2017 Lexus Invitational.
“On behalf of the entire Lexus Manila team, I want to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to be with us today and allowing us to host you for a day of golfing fun and enjoyment. I hope spending the day with us here in Santa Elena is well worth your time being away from the office…. Can you imagine if somebody says, ‘I’d rather be in the office’…that would be a disaster. I, myself, get to play weekday golf once a year. Golf is a lot of fun but weekday golf is double the fun!
“This annual event, which by the way is already on its seventh year running, is our way of showing appreciation to you for your support to Lexus and believing in the Lexus brand.
“This is organized by our internal team members—they will not allow it to be touched by third-party organizers (take a bow, Danny Isla).
“The past eight years have been a great ride for Lexus. Sales growth has been very encouraging, and I hope that you are happy and satisfied with your Lexus vehicle.
“In Lexus, it is more than just the quality vehicle and exciting designs—it is the whole ownership experience that we want you to be pampered with.
“More than the market share or the JD Power customer survey results, it is the smile on the faces of customers and the compliments I receive that truly satisfy us.
“It is these smiles and compliments that motivate me and the team to work harder and deliver an even higher level of service to you.
“Now as we enter our ninth year, I promise that Lexus will continue to bring you exciting vehicles built to the highest quality standards. More important, I promise that we will strive to deliver the most amazing experiences to you.
“Just before I end, I would like to thank the team of Mr. Tantoco in Santa Elena for coming up with another year of flawless setup. The best fairways, the best food especially prepared by Chef Joseph Goh and the best team of Junie Ledesma and Mary Grace Estuesta.
“To the winners, congratulations! To the nonwinners, I wish you luck in the raffle, and I look forward to seeing you again in our future events.
“Thank you very much and good evening.”
PEE STOP Raymond T. Rodriguez was also in Cloud 9 during the Dinner Awards as the just-ended supersuccessful Lexus Invitational was his first major golfing plunge since taking over from Danny “Sir John” Isla as Lexus Manila president last month. Cheers, RTR! Take a bow, too, Spencer Yu. You were great again as awards emcee. Mabuhay!