WHEN my youngest niece suddenly says, “Tita Stella, I have a surprise for you!” the first thing that pops into my mind is, “Yay! Food?” Or “New boyfriend?” (For her, not for me, fools!) “Are you buying me a house and lot?” “You’re bringing me on a trip abroad, for free?” And so on.
I was so intrigued! But N. being N., she fell asleep on me in the middle of our conversation (she does this all the time to everyone), and never got around to her big reveal. Arrrgh! I had to wait until the day after for her to spill the news.
“Sorry,” she began, “I fell asleep na last night and was rushing this morning.” She then quickly followed up: “Anyhoo…just wanted to tell you that I’m getting married! Woo-hoo!” This was followed by a stream of New Year horn-tooting emojis before her punchline, “Surprise!”, followed by a stream of laughing/happy smileys. (We were carrying out this conversation, by the way, through the magical messaging app called Viber. Yes, as with most people, N. shared this all-important personal news through a messaging app.)
Of course, being the concerned aunt who has yet to meet her beau (I’ve met a few of her past loves), I asked if she were sure of her decision. I expressed concern: “Ang bilis naman.” I took note that she and her beau only had gone steady just a short while back. (Young ones, do you still use the term “going steady” to denote a relationship that has gone beyond the “dating” stage? Tweet me. I’d really like to know.) So, of course, my inevitable next question was, “Are you pregnant?”
The latter was a half-serious joke, of course. I’ve known N. since her birth, and while she does have her own spot of crazy like the rest of the family, I know she’s earnest and serious in most of the facets of her life. It’s a question I already knew would be answered with a “No”. Trust her to have a good head on her shoulders and not to let get carried away by her passions, so as to derail her work and other life goals. Yes, she does have life goals. Then again, she already dropped me the bomb of the wedding news, so who knows?
After reassuring me that, yes, she’s certain about this life decision (“when you know, you know”—ang showbiz!), and after I ribbed her that her mom, my big sister, would miss her so, I said, “OK. Then go!” To be honest, the girl isn’t getting any younger. If she waits any longer, she’d probably have to freeze those babies in her ovaries. At 30, most women would’ve probably had four kids already. (Mama was 28 when she gave birth to Big Sister, the eldest among my sibs. That was already old by the standards of Mama’s generation. Big Sister, in turn, was 25 when she birthed C., older sister of N.)
Which isn’t to say, there’s anything wrong with marrying late. I’ve known quite a few who got hitched in their 40s, and even as late as in their 60s, and, yes, these were first marriages. But for practicality’s sake and for the propagation of the race, I’d say it’s still best to marry younger than 40, especially if one has no financial means to undergo medical fertility treatments.
N.’s age is perfect. At 30, she’s still young enough to birth children, and be playful in her behavior, yet old enough to have a more serious approach to relationships and living.
Of course, the next big news, which was the real surprise to me, was that N. was getting me as their ninang (godmother) for the wedding. She told me this time in person, face to face. I wasn’t expecting it, considering I wasn’t her baptismal godmother. (Her sister, C., is actually my godchild.) The slight shock soon gives way to warm fuzzy fluttery feelings, proud as I am to be given the honor of shepherding the young couple on their way to married bliss. Not that I’m any sort of relationship expert, but I guess N. loves and respects my attitude and opinions enough to consider me someone she and her beau would be privileged enough to have as a guidepost in their new life together.
Of course, the warm fuzzy fluttery feelings were soon enough overcome by the realization that “Eff! I’m old.” I’ve been godmother to a select few children, but being a godmother at a wedding means I’ve gone longer in years that my views on life are valuable enough to consider when someone makes momentous decisions. Ach!
The consternation was quickly replaced by incredulity, as N. tells me that the color motif for the godparents is “champagne”. I wanted to shake her shoulders, slap her face sideways and up and down, too, then pull her hair while screaming how dare she pick a color that was not flattering to my figure! Microblur foundation can quickly fix my facial blemishes and make me look smooth and flawless in photos, but the hell! A champagne-colored dress?!?! What was she thinking?!?! (Fun fact: Champagne is just really beige, unless it’s shimmery.)
During the pamanhikan by her beau P.’s family last Saturday, the rest of the ninangs also tried to press N. to change her mind on the gown color motif. I pushed for midnight blue, or something in the dark hues. To no avail. As I mentioned earlier, this girl has life goals, and has the color motif for everyone’s attire in the entourage down pat. She relented a bit and grudgingly allowed “beige” as a palette for the ninangs, nothing else. I wonder how long she’s been planning this wedding in her head.
Sigh. Despite this personal setback, I now find myself googling through images and images of champagne gowns, tapping on the photo and clicking to save the image of the ones I like, and quickly swiping to the right to look at the next sample. As a way to probably assuage the imagined slights to my figure in N.’s choice of said color motif, Big Sister, a.k.a. MOB (Mother of the Bride), took me to a fabric store to show me the immense possibilities that could be achieved in a champagne and lacey gown. Immense… yeah, right.
As a footnote, the wedding date and venue is set. N. and P. are in the process of speaking to the other godparents-to-be, and I, as part of my #NinangDuties, am trying to help out where I can to ensure the nuptials go off without a hitch. Our party has already met P’s family, who seem to be good people, those we could entrust our N. to. The next big steps will now be the couple’s. And as they prepare for their big day, I make a fervent wish and prayer that all shall be well. I know it will.