I HAVE a gay friend whom I shall call Ramona Bautista. He is a reliable, trustworthy, hardworking, creative mind. He is risqué, fun and fiercely loyal. He has a weekly ritual. Every Saturday and Sunday night, he would be in a gay trance as he waits for ABS-CBN’s Pinoy Boyband Superstar, a reality show that aims to form the newest boyband to impact the music industry. Ramona has a huge crush on one of the contestants, James Ryan.
Ramona has a lot of photos of James on his phone. He had them printed, and are now on his mood board. He swears James is God’s gift to him. He also swears by everything James. In fact, when James came out in a special sponsored segment by Head & Shoulders, Ramona bought lots and lots of the shampoo, and now uses it every day. In fact, the last time I saw Ramona, he was in braids, like what endorser Sandara Park is sporting, proudly showing me his clean scalp that he thinks would bring him closer to being the lover of James.
There were times when Ramona would suddenly explode like a nasty volcano because Vice Ganda, one of the judges of the program, would sometimes criticize James for giving a lackluster performance. Ramona would mercilessly hiss at anybody in sight, from his unsuspecting Kapamilyas to anybody on the phone, leaving everybody wondering why Ramona was being unbearably cranky. Ramona has set rules in the house, too—no visitors allowed and nobody talks loudly. He even would stop the rain from falling if he could, if it would disrupt his illicit weekly rendezvous with James.
On Sunday James was eliminated from Pinoy Boyband Superstar, and Ramona wailed like a madwoman. We tried everything to console him, but to no avail. I told Ramona I’d have a chance to meet the boys of Pinoy Boyband Superstar in the near future, and I would try to get a special video message from James. That made Ramona feel a little better, but he’s still sulking, which is why we’ve been hiding from him.
I don’t know about Ramona but I would still encourage him to watch this weekend’s episodes of Pinoy Boyband Superstar, even sans James. After all, it will be the finale of the show, and it promises to be exciting. Billed as “The Grand Reveal”, the episodes will finally announce who among the seven finalists would be the winners.
This Saturday the seven contestants will be divided into three groups—two pairs and a trio. By the end of the night, one hopeful will be named the first member of the boyband via combined scores from public votes and votes of the judges (besides Vice Ganda, Sandara Park, Yeng Constantino and Aga Muhlach form the panel). The six remaining aspirants will have their do-or-die performance come Sunday, and four members will join the winning boyband.
Who are the finalists? There’s Ford, the Hunky Haranista; Joao, the Party Prince; Mark, the Kwelang Badboy; Niel, the Kanto Boy Next Door; Russell, the Fil-Amazing Boy; Tony, the Badboy; and Tristan, The Buff Balladeer.
The winners will receive exclusive contracts with Star Magic, recording contracts with One Music, motorcycles and P5 million in cash.
I heard Ramona is now praying to all the gods and even to Lady Godiva that the executives of Pinoy Boyband Superstar will reveal a twist and by some miracle announce that James is part of the winning boyband. He really can’t accept that life goes on for James, even though he’s already eliminated. I swear, Ramona should just move on, since there seems to be a bright future for James beyond Pinoy Boyband Superstar, thanks to his exposure to the show.
I want to personally tell him that but like I said, I’ve been avoiding Ramona. You know what they say, “To prevent oneself from being bitten, always avoid the bitch in heat!”