This past long weekend, I was principal sponsor in two weddings of lovely couples Patrick and Fatima Gaspar, and Miko and Mich Alivia.
Every detail was carefully planned: the outfits of the wedding entourage; the flowers and decorations at the church and reception; the sumptuous banquet; the video presentations and program, and the necessary rituals during the reception were all impeccable. But I could not help but note to myself that so much preparation was made, but the most important, the marriage vows, seemed like it was just lifted and copied from past missals or archaic prayer books, and the prospective bride and groom did not seem to bother or care what vows they bind themselves to.
“The husband is head of his wife x-x-x”.
“Wives should be subordinate to their husbands x-x-x”.
“Woman go and be a good housewife x-x-x”.
These are still the words the solemnizing priest utters during the exchange of marital vows. While we do have separation of Church and State enshrined in the Philippine Constitution, it may be a good time to revisit our church vows and rewrite them to conform to our existing laws relating to marital relations.
While it used to be that the father was head of the family, solely responsible for support of the household, had primary authority over the children and decisions over the home, the laws have changed to recognize the equal role of husband and wife in building a family. Hereunder is a brief outline of the pertinent provisions:
The 1987 Constitution
- Article II, Section 14. The State recognizes the role of women in nation-building, and shall ensure the fundamental equality before the law of women and men.
- Article XIII, Section 14. The State shall protect working women by providing safe and healthful working conditions, taking into account their maternal functions, and such facilities and opportunities that will enhance their welfare and enable them to realize their full potential in the service of the nation.
The Family Code
- Article 68. The husband and wife are obliged to live together observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support (109a).
- Article 69. The husband and the wife shall fix the family domicile. In case of disagreement, the court shall decide.
The court may exempt one spouse from living with the other, if the latter should live abroad or there are other valid and compelling reasons for the exemption. However, such exemption shall not apply if the same is not compatible with the solidarity of the family (110a).
- Article 70. The spouses are jointly responsible for the support of the family. The expenses for such support and other conjugal obligations shall be paid from the community property and, in the absence thereof, from the income or fruits of their separate properties. In case of insufficiency or absence of said income or fruits, such obligation shall be satisfied from the separate properties (111a).
- Article 71. The management of the household shall be the right and the duty of both spouses. The expenses for such management shall be paid in accordance with the provision of Article 70 (115a).
- Article 72. When one of the spouses neglects his or her duties to the conjugal union or commits acts that tend to bring danger, dishonor or injury to the other or to the family, the aggrieved party may apply to the court for relief (116a).
- Article 73. Either spouse may exercise any legitimate profession, occupation, business or activity without the consent of the other. The latter may object only on valid, serious and moral grounds.
In case of disagreement, the court shall decide whether or not:
- The obligation is proper; and
- Benefit has accrued to the family prior to the objection or thereafter. If the benefit accrued prior to the objection, the resulting obligation shall be enforced against the community property. If the benefit accrued thereafter, such obligation shall be enforced against the separate property of spouse who has not obtained consent.
- Article 209. Pursuant to the natural right and duty of parents over the person and property of their unemancipated children, parental authority and responsibility shall include the caring for and rearing of such children for civic consciousness and efficiency and the development of their moral mental and physical character and well-being.
- Article 210. Parental authority and responsibility may not be renounced or transferred, except in the cases authorized by law (313a).
- Article 211. The father and the mother shall jointly exercise parental authority over the persons of their common children. In case of disagreement, the father’s decision shall prevail, unless there is a judicial order to the contrary.
Children shall always observe respect and reverence toward their parents and are obliged to obey them as long as the children are under parental authority (17a, PD 603).
- Article 212. In case of absence or death of either parent, the parent present shall continue exercising parental authority. The remarriage of the surviving parent shall not affect the parental authority over the children, unless the court appoints another person to be the guardian of the person or property of the children (17a, PD 603).
- Article 213. In case of separation of the parents, parental authority shall be exercised by the parent designated by the Court. The Court shall take into account all relevant considerations, especially the choice of the child over seven years of age, unless the parent chosen is unfit.
Other laws
- Republic Act 7192. An Act Promoting the Integration of Women as Full and Equal Partners of Men in Development and Nation-Building and for Other Purposes.
- Republic Act 8187. An Act Granting Paternity Leave of Seven Days with Full Pay to All Married Male Employees in the Private and Public Sectors for the First Four Deliveries of Legitimate Spouse with Whom He is Cohabiting and for Other Purposes.
- Republic Act 9170. An Act Providing for the Magna Carta of Women.
- Republic Act 10572 (2013). An Act Establishing the Liability of the Absolute Community or Conjugal Partnership for an Obligation of a Spouse Who Practices a Profession and the Capability of Either Spouse to Dispose of an Exclusive Property Without the Consent of the Other Spouse Amending for the Purpose Articles 73 and 111 of Executive Order 209, Also Known as the Family Code of the Philippines.
With all the foregoing laws establishing the fundamental equality of men and women, it is hoped that couples who intend to commit to each other in “good times and in bad, in poverty and in plenty, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do you part”, should put as much detail and attention on their marriage vows as they do the preparations, ceremony and reception. And, of course, please tell your priest/solemnizing officer that at the end of the ceremony, he should say, “I now declare you husband and wife” not the old “I now declare you man and wife”, for doesn’t the man become a husband same as the woman becomes a wife.
Understanding this basic concept may be the key to marital bliss until death do you part!