TO BE LESS DEMANDING, FOCUS ON EMPATHY. Accept that you’re of a special breed and that most individuals don’t think or move at your pace. Practicing self-awareness will help you to be more empathetic and patient. As a leader, you don’t want to set people up to fail. In a personal relationship, you don’t want people to feel minimized. At work, the real challenge is putting people in the right roles with achievable expectations, so that they feel motivated and inclined to do their best work. If your people feel over-pressured or unsuccessful, you may be pushing without thinking twice about whether or not they’re in the right roles with the right goals.
To avoid this temptation, I spend time preparing structured meetings and agendas that are designed to be participative. In large meetings, this takes the form of precollected and compiled work, round-the-table questioning or small breakout groups aimed at gathering feedback.
TO STOP DOMINATING OTHERS, CREATE—AND STICK TO—A PLAN. We often dominate or micromanage when we’re not satisfied with the quality of work or the pace at which it’s done. Sometimes we’re in a hurry and just don’t have the time or patience to listen and work through things with others. Maybe it’s just habit. But it becomes disruptive when we interrupt and tell people what to do.
I’ve discerned three behavioral tendencies of Type-A high performers: to dominate, to be demanding and to be (or appear to be) distracted. While embracing the blessings of being Type-A, being aware of my own demon traits helps me keep them in check. Here are some tricks that have worked for me:
[dropcap]P[/dropcap]EOPLE have always commented on the fact that I am “Type A.” I set personal goals, manage multiple projects at once and run at the speed of light. But with this high-performing personality comes the tendency to annoy people or push them away.TO AVOID GETTING DISTRACTED, MINIMIZE INTERRUPTIONS. If others feel that you never listen or pay attention to them, it’s time to make some changes. Shut off your phone or e-mail when interacting with others. Take time to be personal and courteous—say hello, say thank you, ask how the weekend was. These small gestures show people that you care enough to take the extra time to connect.
Melissa Raffoni (Melissa Raffoni is president of Raffoni CEO Consulting)