Solar-powered Christmas lights and designer pet clothes are flying off the shelves, but one of the hottest trends this holiday season can’t be bought: measuring our collective bah-humbug.
The abundant body of holiday-stress research reveals the obvious (finances are most likely to cause it at the holidays!) and the should-be obvious (scrooges will avoid perky sales folks).
Most of us don’t need surveys to tell us we’re stressed. And the results can make us feel worse if they offer no remedies, said Nancy Molitor, a Chicago-area psychologist and public education coordinator for the association.
“You need to step back, not panic, not get caught up in the gloom and doom,” she said. “People who do better in a downturn situation are the ones able to stay focused, calm and deal with the present.”
So here’s to looking at the bright side.
Experts say you can’t do it all—so don’t
When Patricia Allen, a paralegal from Chicago, was laid off a few years ago, she gave herself permission to avoid holiday stress. She turned down an invitation to attend a cookie exchange, made a pact with girlfriends not to exchange gifts and cut her Christmas card list in half.
We think she was on to something.
Here’s a list of stresses some helpful experts give us permission to cross off our lists.
Health appointments: Sure, having the kids home from school seems like the perfect time to book all their shots and dental work. But unless they’re absolutely necessary, wait until after the holidays when life calms down, said Ann Van Damme and Teresa Frith, owners of A World Class Concierge Service Inc., in Chicago’s North Side.
Obsessing about the perfect gift: A lot of hot gifts are sold out this time of year. Don’t fret—just buy something similar, perhaps from the same manufacturer. The recipient will either love it or exchange it easily with the gift receipt, said Chris Sterling, director of concierges for Red Butler, a company that provides personal assistant services through monthly memberships.
Driving deliriously: Whether it’s dinner, DVDs or dry cleaning, you can have what you need delivered to your home—saving time and frustration. Also consider tag-teaming pickups with friends or neighbors (you pick up their dry cleaning if they fetch kids after school), Van Damme and Frith said.
Making special shopping trips: It’s less stressful to shop by categories, like age group. You’ll thank yourself for tackling all the toys in one outing and so forth, Sterling said.
Merriment starts with a chuckle
You gotta laugh when you see someone about to crack from holiday stress. Seriously, you do, said Roni Golan, who leads Laughter Club meetings out of his art gallery in Rockford, Illinois.
Laughter releases endorphins, brings oxygen deep into your lungs and helps improve your immune system—all of which keep your attitude positive and your stress level down, Golan said. Still not smiling? Try these suggestions from laughter professionals.
Bring back your silly goose: To get club members chuckling, Golan asks them to strike an awkward pose. Moving in ways they usually don’t gets people laughing.
Take time off: Even people in the business of laughing struggle to stay upbeat this time of year. That’s why, for more than a decade, Zanies Comedy Clubs in Chicago have shut down for holiday week, said Bert Haas, executive vice president. “I think it takes the pressure off the employees.”
Head to the comedy section: In a study conducted by the University of Maryland Medical College in Baltimore, subjects who watched the movie Kingpin were left with better-functioning blood vessels than those who watched Saving Private Ryan.
Fake it till you make it: Interestingly, pretending to laugh has the same stress-relieving benefits as laughing for real, Golan said. And often, a laugh that starts off fake turns into the real thing.
Have a pretend tantrum: Stomp your feet, yell, shout and wave your arms. Haas said when people know you’re having a melodramatic meltdown, they tend to laugh at you—which makes you laugh as well.
Don’t neglect yourself
Nancy Creaney is cutting back on just about everything this year, but she still plans on getting a massage in a spa where “nobody can get to me and I can think about whatever I want to think about and I don’t have to talk if I don’t want to.”
“If I don’t take care of myself, then the stress will be worse than what it is,” said Creaney of Woodstock, Ill. Mental health experts say Creaney has the right attitude. Harvard Medical School offers these suggestions:
Feeling unbearably tense? Try a massage, a hot bath, a brisk walk—even a sprint up and down the stairs. Better yet, crank up your favorate tunes and dance around the house.
Feeling pessimistic? Remind yourself of the value of optimism: a more joyful life and, quite possibly, better health. Rent funny movies and read amusing books. Make a list of reasons you have to feel grateful.
Burned out? Care for your body by eating healthy food and for your heart by seeking help from others.
Overextended? Clear the deck of at least one task. Hire a house cleaner, shop online or delegate jobs to others in the family.
