EVERY time I facilitate workshops on personal finance, several participants turn out to be married couples who share their financial challenges as a couple. The major hurdle usually would be making ends meet, and the number one item on the agenda would be for the children’s education. Being a married man and father myself, I feel for them; and being a kid who grew up seeing my parents having the same challenges, I understand them even more.

It is, after all, a truth that married couples know very well. You have the daily expenses to think about: the rent or house, the car, the groceries, the children. It’s not that these things are a burden; it’s just that the demands could be quite staggering. Which brings the need to address the marriage-finance issue in a different approach: taking the couple in the spotlight.

A lot of tips and advices have been given on personal finance—finance focusing on the individual level. But “marriage finance” that focuses on finance issues between couples is not as pronounced.

I’ll start with tips for the newlyweds, who are still on the transition stage from having a solo personal finance to having a joint marriage finance:

Tip #1: Be transparent. As the newlyweds enter the stage of marriage, they bring in the excitement of a new life: a life shared together with new hopes, dreams and aspirations. But it’s not only dreams that they bring into marriage. A life shared is just the beginning of sharing everything: bank accounts, properties, investments, debts, insurance coverage, spending and savings habits, just to name a few. When I got married, all of my savings and investments became part of the “common marriage basket,” which goes by the more popular term “conjugal property.”  This forms a part of the total resources that we shall use for our daily, emergency and future needs.

But it’s not only about assets, but liabilities as well. Yes, even the credit-card bill. If there are unpaid credit-card bills that you still ought to settle lest interest payments pile up, then keeping that in secret and paying in secret is money less allocated for household expenditure, such as groceries, gas or daily allowances. Being able to share this with your spouse would actually help, as you can program together a debt allocation and repayment scheme that would not sacrifice family needs. When my wife and I got married, we immediately laid down all our cards so that we knew our resources and from there, how to build our future.

Tip #2: Communicate. Once transparency has started, communication keeps the relationship open and develops it. Newlyweds must also be open with what their financial needs are and share their habits in spending, saving, investing and money principles.

But these are just the beginning as there arc other areas of concern that couples must address: Are you loose with money or tight-fisted? What would your principle be in helping relatives financially? Do you prefer spending for lunch or bringing baon? Are you brand-conscious in terms of buying clothing and accessories? Do you want to live the high life, living luxuriously or a simple life would do? Would you want to spend for yearly family vacation? How often would you go out on dates? What budget limits would you set on expenses, like food, clothing, accessories and eating out?

Open communication is key to a healthy financial relationship as it draws out the nitty-gritty and details of the couple’s finances. It also helps avert potential disagreements due to misunderstandings. For instance, if my wife or I needs to purchase, say new shoes or dress or a new cell phone, we talk about it and determine if it is still within the family budget.

Tip#3:  Set aside something that is yours.  Have a bank account or investment that is yours…only. That way, you can save up or spend on something for your partner. Imagine if you give all of your salary to your spouse, then you even have to ask again should you want to buy a gift or treat her to lunch! On a more serious note, having a separate account or investment enables you to freely withdraw from that account should anything happen to your spouse. This is because if for example, your spouse dies, all her accounts shall be frozen—and that includes yours, if joined. You can get only a portion of that and not the whole amount. You are immediately paralyzed. Having a single account enables you to be more agile and responsive to your financial needs.

Tip #4:  Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Since it’s a new beginning, do not forget to enjoy life. Money is not there to be just kept away but to be enjoyed as well—as long as it is within your means and is as reasonable. Set aside in your monthly budget a “date allowance” that you can splurge on to celebrate either your anniversary or monthsary. You can also have a yearly family vacation as a tradition. But then, enjoying the fruits of your labor does not necessarily mean having a high price tag: a simple picnic in a park or cooking for your own dinner date is not less romantic as is inexpensive. For example, my wife looks for inexpensive resorts that is value for money where we can spend our yearly vacation.

Tip #5:  “Hold hands in traffic.” This is one term I got from the book Bounce. Remember how kids cross the road with their parents or friends? Yes, they hold hands in traffic. Same thing in marriage finance: You have to do things together. A family budget in which your cash flow and expenditures are monitored is highly recommended as it would enable you to track all your income and expenses. It gives you a tool for analysis, where you can cut back on expenses or increase some income through investing or extra jobs. Moreover, if for example a spouse is unemployed, then they can talk about adjustments in expenses and lifestyle, while looking for another job.

Communication is really the meat of the matter, as newlyweds navigate their early years in married life.  Marriage is the bond and union of two persons together: everything that they have and do ultimately affects one another and so financial decisions should be done together, in unison. As it is not just personal finance, but marriage finance already.

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Rienzie P Biolena, RFP® is one of the pioneering Registered Financial Planners in the Philippines, having taken up the first RFP Program in 2005. He is a senior financial adviser in a leading asset management company in the country, a former banker, a freelance writer and a resource speaker on personal finance. To know more about RFP program, please e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit www.rfp.ph.