IF you want to achieve success, take a page from something you and most people are quite familiar with: courting a girl.  Whether you are aiming for success in your studies, career, profession, business or in your struggle against financial problems, you can apply the same concepts, strategies and tactics you use to woo a girl.

1. Some have it easy; others find it hard. There are guys who can win a girl’s heart with very little effort.   It’s probably because they possess traits that girls find desirable and irresistible.  Some guys don’t find any luck with the girl they like regardless of what they do. For some people, success may come easy due to some marked advantages.  Perhaps they were born rich so they can get the best education and they don’t have to worry about money to start a business.  Or maybe they have very supportive parents who mentor and guide them in whatever they are trying to accomplish.   If you were not born into a privileged life, don’t worry; you can still find success but you will have to exert extra effort.

 2. Strive to win her affection.  When you court, a girl you do everything in your power to make her say yes.  You cannot have her love and affection just by staring at her all day.  You have to work hard for it.  (You may not have to work as hard if the girl also likes you but you still have to work for it.)  You give her your undivided attention.  You make sacrifices and go out of your way to spend time with her or do her favors. Sometimes, you force yourself to do uncomfortable things like visit her at home and talk with her parents.   In the same manner success will not be handed to you on a silver platter.  You will need hard work, a strong commitment, passion, persistence and discipline.   You also need to learn to do things outside of your comfort zone.   The more effort you put in, the more likely you are to succeed.

3. Compete with others. Often you compete with other guys for a girl’s affection.  Rarely does it happen that you are the only one running after the girl.  Likewise, to achieve success in your field, you may have to go up against others who are as driven as or more determined than you.  The path to success becomes harder due to the presence of competition so you need to stay sharp at all times.  Always try to be better than your competition. Keep improving yourself and develop success habits to overcome any disadvantage you may have or to maintain your edge.

4. Change for the better.  Guys usually put their best foot forward when wooing a girl.  Sometimes, it’s just for show.  But other guys really transform themselves.  They change for the better.  Bad habits, especially those that the girl finds unattractive or disgusting (e.g. smoking, incessant swearing), are ditched while desirable habits, particularly those that are appealing to the girl, are adopted.   You will not find success in other areas of your life if you do not let go of negative traits and harmful behavior.   For example, you cannot win your battle against debt if you continue to spend recklessly.  Embrace the attitude and habits that are necessary to succeed in your field.

5. Learn from others.  Typically you gather as much information as you can about a girl you’re courting or planning to woo.  You talk to her friends and relatives to find out her likes and dislikes and the kind of guy she prefers.  You will probably also ask your buddies or even your parents for dating tips and advice on courting strategies. Sometimes, you employ a “bridge” to get closer to her.   You improve your chances of attaining success by learning from experts in your field and from those who have made it.   They can tell you what knowledge, skills and habits you need to be successful.  Find a role model or a mentor who can guide and motivate you or give you an inside track to success.

6. Move on if she doesn’t want you.  If you have tried everything and the apple of your eye still ignores you, you will have to accept the fact that you are not meant to become an item.  You lick your wounds and move on; it’s not the end of the world.  Turn your attention to someone else.  There’s another girl out there just for you.  If you can’t seem to find success in a business or in your career, it’s maybe because you are in the wrong field.  Consider shifting to another career or pursue another business.  Remember to continue persevering each time you fail; do not give up.  You will never find success if you quit.

7. Don’t take her for granted. When you finally win her love and affection, don’t take her for granted.   Continue to shower her with your attention and tender loving care; otherwise, you could lose her.   To keep success from slipping away, you have to nurture it.   Success is not just some destination which you can forget about or ignore once you get there.  What took you years to build could come crumbling down very quickly if you don’t take care of it.   Continued success in business, for example, requires that you stay ahead of the competition and keep pace with the changing demands of customers.  Another case in point is how easily you can fall back into a deep debt hole you have successfully crawled out of after many years if you allow yourself to regress to your merry spending ways.

Have a great Valentine’s Day with your special one.  And may your journey to success be a fruitful one!

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Alvin T. Tabaniag is a registered financial planner of RFP Philippines.  He is the founder and training director of Advantage Plus Training and Consultancy, which is dedicated to promoting a culture of savings among Filipinos through financial education. Comments and questions about the article and other queries may be emailed to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . To learn more about personal financial planning, visit www.rfp.ph or e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it