Leaders connect with people through the heart. Former Pepsi Cola Chairman and CEO Indra Nooyi said leaders today must lead with both their hearts and their heads. And preferably, leaders must lead using their hearts first before their heads.
In his book A Good Lawyer, Bobby Quitain said the heart is the seat of our decisions. And regardless of who we are in this world, we all have to make decisions. When I was the commissioner of the Bureau of Immigration, I emphasized the need for “heartwork” (trabahong may puso) to my fellow public servants. I thought to myself that our bodies might get physically weak, our minds might get cerebrally tired, but our hearts will always keep on beating no matter what. With tons of work to do in the bureau, our team was getting physically and emotionally drained after a 10.5-hour workday compounded by a two-hour daily commute to and from work. I, thus, implored my staff to work from their hearts in serving the public.
Science says the most powerful organ in the human body is the brain. I say that the most critical organ is the heart. My doctor friend once told me that people in comatose would have generally lost their physical and mental functions but they almost always stay alive because their hearts won’t easily give up. More important, every time we think positively about any situation or about ourselves, we unconsciously produce adrenaline that, in turn, allows the heart to take over the mind. Every time we mumble phrases like “Yes, I can do this” or “Yes, this is easy”, we psyche ourselves to allow the heart to take over the body. You see, our heart can actually control both our minds and bodies. But as much as it is strong, the heart can also be weak, made intentionally weak by His design.
I have yet to see a person who has never been “brokenhearted” so to speak. One way or another, there will be people in our lives who will fail our expectations, not necessarily in love but in life in general. Whenever spouses separate, at least one heart gets broken. Whenever a student gets kicked out of school, his heart and the heart of his parents are broken, too. Whenever a father breaks a promise to his children or the latter disrespect their parents, hearts are crushed, as well. There are many ways to break a heart. And yet, the heart is still beating; the heart keeps us alive.
I know of one fine lady whose heart, she says, has been broken many times. Her friends say that she is just so unlucky that she could not find the right partner. Other friends say that she is so choosy that she either intimidates men or discards them as soon as she thinks that she is not the right partner. In her 30s and already considered as “overripe” in terms of marrying age, she still longs for a Prince Charming who will sweep her off her feet. She remains strong in faith.
Someone famous suggested four steps to cope with, not necessarily mend, a broken heart. First, accept that you are exactly where God wants you to be, as in “predestined” according to His will. Second, trust that He will grant you His Grace so you will depend on Him like a child to a father. Third, know that there is a hidden blessing in this heartbreaking situation as His way of training. Finally, believe that this state is fleeting and shall eventually pass in His perfect time.
For the time being, our heart may be distraught when people fail to meet our expectations. But if we have faith in His Predestination, in His Stewardship style, in His experiential kind of Training, and in His Timing of a providential comeback, our hearts will never be broken. With faith, our hearts become solidified with more tensile strength to adapt to any kind of challenge later on in life.
As to my lady friend, she patiently waits believing that God, with His Almighty Grace, will send her a genuine and heartfelt partner.
So whenever we feel heartbroken, consider this proposition: Our Heartbreak King is simply telling us to come to Him. Jeremiah 29:13 tells us that, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”. In one of my favorite inspirational songs, “Lift Up Your Hands”, whose lyrics were taken from Matthew 11:28, Basil Valdez sings—“Cast your burdens upon Me, Those who are heavily laden, Come to Me, all of you who are tired of carrying heavy loads, For the yoke I will give you is easy, And My burden is light, Come to Me and I will give you rest”. Perhaps creating us with weak hearts is His way to make us run to Him in times of despair and redirecting our hearts away from the pleasure of this world. Perhaps “breaking our hearts” is His way of connecting with His flock here on Earth. After all, He is our leader and leaders connect with people through the heart.