By Abby Gayle Abbu
CERTAIN practices make the Filipinos unique when it comes to staging weddings. Although local wedding rites carry strong Western influences, some traditional practices are still observed by Filipino couples.
Filipino culture has been largely influenced by the Spanish, the Americans and the Chinese. Early Filipino practices were combined with the ways of their Spanish and American colonizers. Filipino Catholics also incorporated the practices of the Chinese when it comes to doing weddings.
Prewedding
Prior to the wedding, there is usually the traditional period of panliligaw (courtship), followed by the kasunduan (engagement). In ancient times, the groom-to-be would throw his spear at the front steps of his intended’s home to signify that they are engaged. These days, a ring suffices as the symbol of engagement. Another tradition then called paninilbihan is where the groom-to-be help out around the bride’s house to gain the approval of her family.
If the family approves of the suitor, the pamamanhikan will follow. This is where the groom-to-be, together with members of his family, visits his fiancée and her family to formalize the marriage proposal. Wedding plans are often made at this time, including a discussion of the budget and guest list.
It is usual for the groom’s family to shoulder the expenses, but these days, the bride agrees to pay for part of the cost. Sometimes, the bride’s parents offer assistance. After everything has been settled, the bride’s family holds a despedida de soltera as a send-off party for the bride as she bids good-bye to singlehood, while the groom may hold a bachelor’s party.
Filipinos believe that soon-to-wed couples are accident-prone, which is why they are advised to avoid long drives or traveling before their wedding day. Also, brides aren’t allowed to try on their wedding dress before the big day, or the wedding will not push through.
The influence of America is evident in the preference of Filipino couples for their wedding dress. Filipinas also wear white wedding dresses, while males wear coat and tie.
Sometimes, Filipino men wear the barong Tagalog, which is considered the traditional Filipino formal wear. It is a cool, almost transparent, embroidered shirt, made from silky piña or jusi, two native ecru fabrics. It is worn untucked, over black pants, with a white T-shirt underneath.
The wedding day
In precolonial times, a wedding ceremony lasted for three days. On the first day, the bride and groom would go to the house of a priest, or babaylan, who joined their hands over a plate of raw rice and blessed the couple. Two days later, the priest would prick the chests of both the bride and the groom and draw a little blood. Joining their hands, the couple would declare their love for each other three times. The priest would then feed them cooked rice from the same plate and have them drink some of their blood mixed with water. Binding their hands and necks with a cord, the priest would declare the couple married.
While in the modern times, Filipino weddings trail Catholic weddings but the traditions remain. Filipino weddings reflect the strong traditions of family, even the extended family, as well as symbolism.
The wedding involves people who are significant in the couple’s life—the principal and secondary sponsors, who act as witnesses to the marriage.
The principal sponsors, or locally known as ninong and ninang could be godparents, counselors or a favorite uncle and aunt, even a parent. But if an unmarried person stands as a principal sponsor during the wedding, he or she may remain unmarried for the rest of his or her life.
Then the secondary sponsors could be among their close contemporaries. They handle special parts of the ceremony, such as the candle, cord and veil ceremonies.
Candle sponsors light two candles to symbolize the joining of the two families of the couple and to invoke the light of Christ in their married life. Veil sponsors place a white veil over the bride’s head and the groom’s shoulders, a symbol of two people clothed as one. Cord sponsors drape a decorative silk cord in a figure eight or infinity sign—to symbolize everlasting fidelity—over the shoulders of the bride and the groom.
Aside from the ring bearer, there is also a Bible bearer and a coin bearer. The groom gives the bride 13 coins or arrhae, blessed by the priest, which traditionally symbolize the prosperity that would be shared by the new couple, as well as a sign of his dedication to his wife’s well-being and the welfare of their future children.
Moreover, the bride is attended by a maid or matron of honor and bridesmaids, and the groom with a best man, as with the American tradition. There are also groomsmen, junior bridesmaids and flower girls.
The groom must be at the church before the bride arrives to avoid bad luck. Well, obviously, the groom must be there, since he will be waiting for his bride to walk down the aisle.
If it rains during the wedding, it means prosperity and happiness for the newlyweds.
Reception
In the early times, after the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds is showered with rice as they leave the church, but the throwing of rice is currently discouraged as it is wasteful. Today flower petals or confetti may be thrown at the couple to bring prosperity all their life.
The reception is where all the real funny moment happens. When attending a Filipino wedding reception, expect to go through a lot of seremonyas, such as cheesy dance numbers, Josh Groban song renditions, entourage photo shoots, repetitive speeches, games and multiple video presentations strategically programmed before dinner is served.
Same with the Western weddings, the bride and the groom cut the cake together and feed it to each other, but is rarely served to the guests. The couple will also have their first dance together but in Filipino traditions, guests pin money as cash gifts to the clothing of the bride and groom. Aside from that, a pair of doves will be released to symbolize eternal love for the couple.
The bride may throw her bouquet, while the groom throws the bride’s garter. In other countries, bouquet tossing is considered as one of the most fun parts of the wedding and whoever single woman catches the bouquet will be the next in line to marry. However, in Filipino weddings today, the names of the single girls are rather called out and are required to join a game, where the goal is to eliminate themselves from the bouquet and garter toss.
It is also believed that breaking something during the reception brings good luck to the newlyweds.