By Karen Krizia Constante
CHILDREN of overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) tend to compensate with the absence of their parents by having functional ones, a religious leader said.
Alex Monis, a pastor of Victory Christian Fellowship, told the BusinessMirror in an interview that functional parents are people who step into the shoes of their father and mother who are working overseas. Monis also cited the social media as also being used so children of OFWs can cope.
“It’s better if children find these functional parents within the family or the clan. But sometimes it’s social media or people their age.”
Monis explained the latter would be problematic. Problems would exist when you seek advice from someone the same age with you because you both experience the same thing, he added.
“You would have the same perspective,” and you would only reinforce each other’s views, Monis said. It would be good if they can find someone mature enough to be their functional parents, he added.
“Millennials should choose who to seek advice from.”
But for Princess Agpaoa, the absence of her mother who is an OFW made her less family-oriented.
“I got used to it. I did not see the value of the family, like I don’t care even if we’re already complete,” Agpaoa said, adding that she sees her friends as her functional parents.
Most of the time she goes out with her friends because it is where she finds the attention and security she needs.
Agpaoa added that whenever she has a problem, she would seek advice from her friends instead of her family, because she thinks her friends know her better than anyone else.
“They [friends] play the role of my parents,” she said.
Agpaoa’s experience is similar with Patrick Ochoco.
“I enjoy my time with friends more than the time I spend with my family,” he said.
In addition, having two younger brothers and one baby sister, Ochoco said that he had to step up not just to be an older brother but also a father to his siblings.
“My dad is always not around and we only meet him twice a year, so I have to take care of the responsibility,” he said.
According to Agpaoa and Ochoco, aside from seeing their friends as their parents, the absence of their parents made them more independent in handling things.
Since there’s lack of parent figure to support their aspirations, they decide to do things on their own. However, they also tend to be indecisive.
Unlike them is Rivelle Mallari, who said her father’s absence helped her reach her goals.
I believe I became mature at an early age, she said.
She said she learned to accept responsibilities at a young age because they have to manage the household. She learned how to cook and do the laundry. “I was always left alone at home.”
Mallari added that she is self-motivated to do well, especially in academics.
She understands her father has to work in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for them to get a better education, pay for household bills and to give them a more comfortable life.
“Alam mo ’yung hirap na pinagdadaanan ng parents mo, so mahihiya ka maging irresponsible.”
“Whenever my dad gets home, we would drop everything and just cherish every moment with him,” she added.
The sacrifices of her father to provide for their family inspire her to excel in everything she does. Mallari graduated magna cum laude at the University of the Philippines Diliman.
Still, Monis said children of OFWs should be like Mallari and not see their parents as indefinite automated teller machine.
“Once they have material things, maubos o masira man okay lang; isang e-mail mayroon naman agad [silang pera],” he said, adding that remittances should not be used as another form of functional parenting.
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