By Alessandra Anonas | Contributor
THIS is not your typical bully sob story. A bully is regarded as someone who preys on the weak, the different and the socially impaired. They could be anyone. Bullies come in all ages, shapes, sizes and gender preferences. How they bully varies as much as why they became one.
References say most bullies are what they are because they crave power or tote a ton of insecurities that leads to a build up of aggression, which they inflict on other people. Some of them point fingers to fellow bullies and blame their creation on peer pressure because they don’t want to be the ones made fun of. A few bully because they themselves were bullied.
Not M.
Ultimately “we are the ones responsible for our decisions and actions,” she said.
M spoke to the BusinessMirror on condition of anonymity because, as she explained, bullies come in packs and the members of the pack she once belonged to are still among us: “You can never bully someone if you are alone.”
“Those people who surround us and whom others call our peers are triggers,” for us to do ‘something.’” That something, however, she avoids calling “hurting other persons,” which most bullies do.
M’s bullying days started when she was in grade school. However, the twenty something college student couldn’t recount what event or person prompted her to go into bullying. Still, she said it was never peer pressure.
At “the end of the day, we are still the one who will decide if we are going to pull the trigger.”
According to M, bullying starts “when you make fun of someone, the whole class laughs and that person refuses to fight back or refuses to counter the jokes.”
“That is when you get the upper hand. Because you know that he or she is weak or scared.”
M said most people targeted by bullies are those who are quiet—the geeks and the nerds. “Sometimes, they have features we found funny or we considered to be ‘normal,’” she said. These physical features make it easy for bullies to tease and taunt their chosen target.
But for M, the people she bullied are those who fought back. “Most of them tried to counter our attacks and that’s what we love. We like it when our target responds to our attacks. Others will just show the face of defeat.”
Nonetheless, she said she didn’t feel upset after bullying someone who didn’t fight back. “No, I never felt upset. I like it when people submit themselves to me.”
And, despite what most people would think, M does remember the names of those she bullied.
Albeit she doesn’t have any regrets over people she bullied, M said she has since “retired.”
“When you start attending university, bullying is something that you classify as ‘childish’ already.”
It may be easy to hate people like M, but she said there’s a bully lurking in every one of us.
“It’s as simple as making fun of someone in your mind, making rumors that may or may not even spread, because they seem different or strange to us or because we regard that person as not quite ‘fitting-in’” to our self-imposed standards.
“We are all bullies,” she said adding: “Some just happen to be a bigger than most because of the choices they make.”
Image credits: Jimbo Albano
1 comment
I think that whole “There is a bully in every one of us/We are all bullies” thing is a way for M to make herself feel better about her choices to victimize other people. There is NOT a bully in every one of us, and whatever we do in our own minds, it won’t create victims or cause pain as long as it doesn’t leave our minds. The choice to hurt someone is a grave choice, and that’s what makes someone a bully.