YOUR relationship likely begins how most relationships do: Innocent flirtation, fluttering stomachaches, late-night phone calls and the desire to be together at all times.
You latch onto their heart and dive in without a second thought. All you’re aware of are the foggy feelings pushed up against you, like your face against theirs.
It’s chemistry; it’s passionate and spontaneous. Nothing else matters. Then suddenly, in the blink of an eye, it does.
We’ve all been there and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We get lost in our hearts and fall off. We lose sight of the importance behind work, school, dreams and other relationships in our lives. And so does your significant other.
But, after a few months go by, you start to realize the consequences behind these blurry-minded decisions. Reality strikes and it all falls out all over.
It turns out, quirks aren’t cute anymore, in fact, they’re quite annoying. You keep explaining your thoughts and ends up being ignored.
You feel resentful and long for something new because this person isn’t filling you up the same
way anymore.
You start to wonder, “Do I even still have feelings for this person? What changed?”
Well, you did. The difference is that you didn’t change when you fell out of love with this person. You changed when you fell in love in the first place.
Sometimes, getting so caught up in the idea of something deprives people of getting to know someone for who they are. You stop being yourself, and so does your partner.
You tell them stories about the past, but the present is a blank page. Then, we run out of things to talk about, and that’s that.
It’s easy to forget who you are in the early stages of a relationship, and the reason behind this cruel reality is finally clear: You’re not ready.
As fun as relationships can be in the beginning, it’s always important to consider beyond that. If you see a problematic pattern and unclear about whose fault it is, remember that it’s probably no one’s fault; it’s just not your time.
From my experience of watching each of my relationships expire, one after the other, I learned that I still had a great deal of growing up before I was meant to grow with another person.
I found myself wanting to kick these ladies to the curb so early, I never understood why. They were good to me, just not for me. It turned out that no one was good for me.
Not all of us are lucky enough to stumble upon the love of our lives on the first try, and that’s just life.
We’re human beings. We’re selfish and, in this case, that’s okay. We’re allowed to dip our toes in the water to discover our likes and dislikes, keeping in mind these qualities for the future when we’re ready.
It’s just a matter of being honest and not taking the world of dating too seriously.
We have our entire lives to find love. In the meantime, get out there, grab a hold of your aspirations and do something awesome.
Editor’s Note: Millennials have kicked out baby boomers out of the room but we haven’t heard from them. Hence, every week, this space would devote a textual gramophone for the 15- to 29-year-olds. If you belong to this generation, send an 800-worded essay to opinion@businessmirror.com.ph. Editorial rules apply.
Cyril Razon / Millennial Universe