Dear PR Matters,
I work in a small advertising agency, and frequently collaborate with my colleagues who do public-relations works for our clients.
Our day-to-day work in both advertising and pr has made me realize the importance of negotiating—with clients, with the media, even internally in our office.
Can you give us some tips on how we can master this skill? This would be very helpful.
Sincerely,
Lydia G.
Dear Lydia,
Thank you for your letter Lydia, and your very insightful observations. You are correct in saying that negotiations are an everyday thing. And negotiating skills are not only important when we are closing major contracts, but in our day-to-day interactions. We negotiate all the time, although not always in a sales-pitch mode.
Samuel Edwards agrees that “negotiations are present everywhere in life. You’ll negotiate little things, like who takes the trash out, and big things, like how much money you’ll be making in a new company. “
“Getting the most out of life depends, at least partially, on your ability to negotiate,” he says. “Like anything else, solution is with practice, and you need to condition yourself to be a better negotiator in any area in life.”
In an article in Inc.com, Edwards lists five Exercises to Improve Your Negotiation Skills. These seem simple, but mastery of these can make you a better negotiator in all aspects of your life.
- Practice saying “No.” “Saying no is tougher than it sounds,” says Edwards, adding that “we tend to comply out of a sense of responsibility or fear of how you’ll look giving a rejection.”
In negotiation, “if you want to leverage your position at all, you’ll necessarily reject an offer on the table, even if it’s only implicitly. This doesn’t mean you should start saying ‘no’ to everything, but it’s far easier if you become comfortable with lower-stakes situations than if you hold your ground in a high-stakes situation, like a job interview.”
May I add, that being Asian, we have to develop another skill apart from just learning to say “no”, but to say so firmly but respectfully, as this is very important in our culture.
- Learn body-language cues. There’s no question that body language is a major variable when it comes to interpersonal communication, Edwards says. “Subtle cues, like excessive blinking of the eyes, or an uncomfortable shift in the chair, can give you a major insight into another person’s mind, but you need to be attuned to his body language,” he says.
What to do? “Study and practice, observing the body language of people you already know, and strangers if you have the chance,” Edwards advices.
- Listen to other people. We agree with Edwards that “listening is the biggest and most important part of communication: it’s what allows you what is going on in another person’s head.”
Unfortunately, in a day and age when everyone is dying to be heard, listening is a lost art. But we can start by “listening more intently and speaking less often, until it becomes a natural element in your conversation rhythm.”
The rewards of listening are greater than shouting out loud. “Saying less and listening more puts you in a position of power during a negotiation,” Edwards says. “It means the other person is giving you more information than you’re giving them.”
More than that, “quiet people are seen as better, more respectful communicators, and it’s clear that being a better active listener will make you a better all-around negotiator.”
- Conduct better research. Before you walk in any negotiation, you need to have your research done thoroughly, Edwards says. Knowledge is, as they say, power. And increasing your stock knowledge is a great investment.
But how do you know you’ve done all your due research, or that you’ve done it in the best way possible. For Edwards, researching should not only be occasional, but should become part of your life.
“You need to take it upon yourself to practice researching by learning the best practices for search, gathering a handful of key reliable sources for your information, and learning what questions to ask to get deeper, more detailed pockets of information. Researching is a skill, and it can be refined.”
- Negotiate everything. “If you want to be a better negotiator, you have to negotiate,” Edwards says. “The more you do it, the more comfortable you will be, which will lead you to more natural confidence and better overall results.”
The key here is to “start with small situations and scale your way up to bigger and more important ones.” Practice, as they say, makes perfect.
Edwards ends his article by saying that we must remember that, “negotiation is a two way street…and should not develop a compulsion in you to get more than you deserve.” Rather, “it is a commitment to self-improvement.”
PR Matters is a roundtable column by members of the local chapter of the UK-based International Public Relations Association (IPRA), the world’s premier association for senior professionals around the world. Millie Dizon, the senior vice president for marketing and communications of SM, is the local chairman.
We are devoting a special column each month to answer the reader’s questions about public relations. Please send your comments and questions to askipraphil@gmail.com.