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ONE of
Hollywood’s all-time favorite romantic comedies is
When Harry Met Sally. Released in 1989, the film’s
hook is simple: “Can men and women just be friends?” As
we find out in the movie, Harry (Billy Crystal) and
Sally (Meg Ryan) are friends for the longest time. They
meet up over the course of so many years, each in a
relationship, broken up, setting the other up for a
date, but still remaining very platonic friends. Then
when Harry goes over to Sally to comfort her after she
grieves over her ex-boyfriend getting married, they end
up having sex—and the most awkward morning after ever.
They
don’t speak for a while until New Year’s Eve when Harry
goes to a party that Sally is leaving, and declares his
undying love for her. The film closes with both
characters talking to the camera, as if being
interviewed; they are now married. So this is what
happens when best friends fall in love with each other.
HER friends and colleagues
insist she is now “glowing.” But Cora de la Paz-Bernardo
says, “I’m always glowing!” before letting out peals of
laughter. -- Photos
by Stella Arnaldo
Well,
when Corazon de la Paz (née Santos), one of the most
accomplished women in the accounting field, and
currently president of the Social Security System (SSS),
first met Enrique “Ike” V. Bernardo, a retired banker,
they were both in their teens and studying at the Rizal
High School in Pasig City. They were classmates from
second-year to fourth-year high school, and vying for
the school’s top academic honors.
“He’s
from Pasig and I’m from Pateros. He was No. 3 in our
class. I was No. 2. The guy I was being paired off with
was the No. 1. But wala naman
noon kasi we were
still very young. ’Di ko nga pinag-interesan ’yan
[Ike] nung araw. ’Di ko na ’yan inambisyunan nung
araw, kasi gwapo s’ya,” Cora jokes. More seriously,
she adds, “My friends were from Pateros kasi—and
also because we were competitors in school.”
Here in
Manila, Cora worked up her way to the top of her field,
heading up the distinguished accounting firm
Pricewaterhouse Coopers (formerly Joaquin Cunanan). She
married Wenceslao de la Paz, chairman of the National
Power Corp. and presidential adviser on energy affairs
until 1992. They have one daughter Cristina, 28, now
studying Theater Lighting Design in London.
Alone in
a big house
BUT in
1995, de la Paz passed away after struggling with a rare
type of cancer. Cora says, “It was not too difficult to
accept. I believe in the afterlife kasi. I had a
happy marriage. So I felt that we were still going to
see each other again someday. I prayed that kunin na
s’ya kesa mag-suffer pa s’ya ng matagal.
There was no cure for that cancer at the time. I felt
that I have been lucky to have been given a life with
him. I learned a lot from him.”
Cora’s
work and her frequent travels kept her from being
lonely. She also occupied her spare time with golf. “So
I wasn’t depressed,” she says. The only time she felt
ill at ease was “when I was all alone in our big house
in Greenhills on the second floor. My daughter was away,
studying abroad. I didn’t want to stay in the house. My
husband had bought it and we lived in it for 10 years.”
She moved to a smaller house, near Manila Golf and
Country Club in Forbes Park, Makati, where she still
lives today.
For his
part, Ike lived abroad for 30 years, working as an expat
banker in Hong Kong and Jakarta. He married Angelina
Pineda, with whom he has two sons: Ricky, now married
and living in Chicago; and Radi, who works here in a
telecommunications firm.
Ike and
Cora only saw each other once in 1998, when he was home
for a visit. He had sought his old classmate to ask if
his son, who was then coming home from the US for the
summer, could work for her accounting firm in the
interim. Unfortunately, there were no summer-job
openings then, Cora recalls. Still, both promised to
play golf, their favorite game, next time Ike was around
in Manila. Somehow, that didn’t pan out: when Ike was
here, Cora would be hard at work or abroad.
Then in
2002, Ike returned home to
Manila
to retire with his family. “It was not until our class
reunion in January 2006 that I saw him again,” Cora
recalls, and together with another friend, they agreed
to play golf on weekends.
Just
golfing buddies
IKE’S
wife died in November 2006 after a brave bout against
the Big C. “He was so devoted to her. He took care of
her,” Cora says. After his wife passed away, his old
high-school classmates, including Cora, helped him
through his grief. But it was only this year that he
resumed playing golf with Cora and their friend Joe.
“After our game, we’d go to the nearby eateries and eat
a lot of food from Laguna Lake. That’s what we have in
common, mahilig kami sa kanduli, sa ayungin, maliliit
na hipon.”
Cora
insists that the relationship was all very platonic
then. “We were very good friends. ’Di ko nga alam
boyfriend ko na pala sya,” she guffaws. She just
noticed that after a few months, Bernardo no longer
brought along their other golfing buddy to their weekend
games. He made excuses, such as being unable to call Joe
because the latter didn’t have a cell phone. She then
got used to playing golf without their third wheel
“until at some point, he just proposed. I said, ‘Kaya
pala ’di mo na sinasama si Joe!’”
Cora
says she can’t really identify that specific point in
time when everything just fell into place for her and
Ike, romance-wise. It just flowed naturally. They were
golfing buddies, best friends, then they were holding
hands. “It wasn’t planned. I didn’t even think of it.
Besides, I didn’t dare presume that there was something
between us. It just happened. Basta mabait sya.
He’s a very gentle person. He could be very sympathetic
and would take my side even when I’m being attacked in
the media. He would always say, ‘Remember, as long as
you’re doing the right thing, the silent majority is
behind you.’ Ayun, he’s always there to guide
[me] and advise [me]. And he has a sense of humor.”
A party
of eight
SO
without the fanfare and grand announcements that usually
accompany weddings, Cora and Ike, with eight other
people standing as witnesses and guests, including the
priest, got married at 4 pm at the Twin Hearts of Jesus
and Mary Church in West Triangle,
Quezon City,
on October 7. The reception for the small wedding party
was held at the cozy and intimate Lemuria restaurant in
Horsehoe Village. “There was just a short period wherein
we could get married,” Cora says of their quite hectic
schedule leading up to their wedding. “The next day, we
had to leave for the States!”
A lot of
people, including Cora’s closest friends, were
surprised. Some were hurt, of course, feeling they had
been left out of the loop. When she informed the SSS
board that she was “going to hyphenate my name,” the
directors thought they were just about to receive their
wedding invites. “Sabi ko, tapos na,” Cora bursts
into laughter.
Asked
for a wedding photo, Cora says she had asked her husband
if she could give us one, but he demurred, joking, “’Wag
na, sweetheart, baka hindi na ako makapag-jeep
n’yan!” Seriously, though, Cora says Ike does take
the jeep when he goes from his condo in Rockwell to the
Makati City Hall, where he pays his taxes. “He says it’s
more convenient for him to take the jeep because it’s a
short ride and there’s no hassle of parking. He’s been
away for so long, so all these things are new to him.
It’s like an adventure. He lines up at the bank. He
tells me he wants to go through the process of how
things are done [here].”
In a
week’s time, Cora will be moving into Ike’s
three-bedroom condo, which is currently being renovated
to accommodate the new lady of the house. She says
she’ll still keep her house in Forbes for her daughter
and siblings who come home from the States from time to
time.
Doesn’t
she feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with another person
after 12 years of having it all to herself? “’Di
naman. It comes naturally eh. Na there’s
someone...very caring naman....I never thought I
was missing anything in my life anymore. But now he’s
here, and you feel so cared for. ’Yung me yayakap sa
’yo. Kasi I grew up with a loving father. I grew up
with a feeling of continued reassurance that you will
always be protected.”
Asked if
she had any advice for the lovelorn (like me!), Cora
says, “Take each day as it comes. If it happens, kung
talagang nandoon, just enjoy each other’s company.
Don’t have too many expectations. Live a simple life as
you can.”
After
listening to Ma’am Cora tell her love story, and
giggling through most of her narration, I can only say,
“Nakaka-inggit!” I kidded her that she was lucky
to have loved not once, but twice already, while there
are so many single women like me who have yet to find
that special person we would want to spend our life
with.
But it
also gives me hope. If it’s meant to be, love will
happen, no matter how young or old one is. (Though I
hope it doesn’t arrive when I’m 90, with my hair and
teeth falling out, and too senile to remember I even
have a beating heart!)
As Ma’am
Cora and I part ways, I remember a quote from an
upcoming book by author Norman Mailer, who recently
passed away. I share it with her:
“It
struck me that everyone I knew, including myself, was
always looking for love. ‘Ah, if I could find love, it
would solve my problems.’ Some years ago, however, I
found myself saying to my children, ‘Don’t go searching
for love. Love is not a solution but a reward.’ So long
as you go searching for love directly, you will fail,
because love is a grace and you don’t pursue grace.”
(Norman Mailer from On God: An Uncommon Conversation) |
