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HUNGRIEST interviewer:
Asking actresses who they’re wearing is so last year.
This Emmy season, E’s Giuliana Rancic was much more
interested in what actresses were eating.
Cabbage
soup diet, admitted one. Scrambled egg whites, confided
another. When stars declined to fork over the details of
their diets, Rancic became irate.
Most
unnecessary jab:
What was up with Terry O’Quinn’s jab at Desperate
Housewives?
While
accepting his Emmy for Supporting Actor in a Drama
Series for Lost, O’Quinn remarked, “Sometimes when we’re
rolling around in the jungle in the mud and we’re
hitting each other and stabbing each other....I wonder
what it would be like to bake up a sheet of cookies on
Wisteria Lane. And get one of their checks.”
Terry,
do you have any idea how much carbohydrate deprivation
and Pilates is required to prep those ladies for their
lingerie scenes? And, by the way, you aren’t actually
getting stabbed on Lost. It’s make-believe.
Queen of
the Emmys:
Queen Latifah, of course! With a bright red gown, shiny
red lips and poise to spare, the queen was glamour
personified.
“I
fought the bronzer and the bronzer won:” Don’t get me
wrong, Hayden Panettiere looked beautiful up there; her
gown was elegant, her hair was simple and her jewelry
was shiny—or whatever. It’s just that she looked kinda,
well, discolored. Her dress and her skin were the same
shade of peach—oh my! I think I know what happened.
Hayden, you’re supposed to remove your gown before
entering the Mystic spray-tan booth!
Most
underwhelmed:
“Well, I’ve been here before,” mumbled David Chase,
after winning the Emmy for Writing in a Drama Series for
The Sopranos. By the end of his über-indifferent speech,
even Chase looked like he was drifting off.
Biggest
party girl:
Was anybody in the audience having as much fun as Eva
Longoria? While all the other women came in jewel-toned,
floor-length gowns, Eva flaunted her gams in a short,
shimmery number. She laughed at every joke, and laughed
even harder when the jokes were at her expense. I know
some people find her annoying, but I think she’s a party
and a half. Hey, Eva, wanna sip Ivy Gimlets and go shoe
shopping sometime?
Worst
excuse for a heinous dress:
Jenna Fischer told red-carpet reporters that she chose
her dress because after a recent accident she needed
something that would not strain her back. Now, I’m not
gonna make a joke about Jenna’s cheap-looking dress or
its mondo bow. I’m not gonna say Jenna looked like a
gift you wouldn’t want to unwrap. I love her way too
much to do that. I’m just gonna say, better luck next
time, Jenna!
Best
mobster makeover:
Edie, you fox, you! We’re used to seeing Edie Falco as
the overcoifed, frowny Carmela Soprano. Tonight, with
her tresses deflated and her tracksuit retired for good,
Edie dazzled!
Cutest
case of most impractical
bangs: Listen, I love thick, shaggy bangs as much
as the next girl, but CBS’s Cold Case star
Kathryn Morris’s fringe was just plain silly.
How many
times did that girl attempt to blink her bangs out of
her eyes so she could see the teleprompter? I don’t
know, I’m asking—I couldn’t even see her eyes.
Double-take of the night:
When Brad Garrett got up to present, it took me a whole
minute to realize his copresenter was his ’Til Death
costar Joely Fisher and not his Everybody Loves
Raymond costar Patricia Heaton with “a little work”;
seriously, it’s uncanny!
Melting
nose award? Uh-oh, what happened to Teri Hatcher’s shnoz?
It appears to be drooping down on one side!
Cutest
award recipient:
When Greg Daniels scored the Emmy for Writing in a
Comedy Series for The Office, his speech was just
plain precious.
“I’m not
the little red hen that baked that bread all by themself,”
he began. The little red hen metaphor meandered on until
music started playing over Greg, at which point he
chirped, “Bye!” and scampered off stage.
Best
pairing for most unnecessary appearance:
How awesome was it when Kanye West and Rainn Wilson
played “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” with Wayne Brady? When
Rainn got a little too excited and started singing, “You
can be my black Kate Moss tonight,” Kanye was as amused
as we were. Kanye should do all his appearances with
Rainn; for a second up there, Kanye even looked like,
um, a humble recording artist who doesn’t throw tantrums
when they lose awards.
Most
likable person onstage and, possibly, on Earth:
When America Ferrera won for Lead Actress in a Comedy
Series for Ugly Betty, her speech was positively
inspiring. “It is truly an amazing, wonderful thing that
happens when your dreams come true,” beamed America.
Tonight we were all proud Americans! (Sorry, I couldn’t
resist.)
Best
speech we missed:
When James Spader scored the award for Lead Actor in a
Drama Series, he beat out Hugh Laurie. What a bummer:
Laurie has the best acceptance speeches in the biz!
Can’t we
just make up a category that Laurie could win every
time, so he can always give a speech? “Most Hugh Laurie-ish,”
perhaps? |
