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It’s the
kind of scene you would expect in a David Lynch or Tim
Burton film. You are walking down a long, seemingly
endless corridor of signs bearing letters such as
AMRI-TWC, IMT-GT and Zopfan. Confusion sets in, followed
by despair.
Such is
life for journalists covering meetings of the
Association of Southeast Asian Nations, or Asean. While
the 40-year-old group has long been acronym-crazy, its
habit of abbreviating words in such a way that they form
words themselves has gotten out of hand.
So much
so that Asean even distributed a cheat sheet of the 87
most commonly used ones at its meeting in
Manila
last week. It’s often said that a journalist’s best
friends are a well-written press release and an open
bar. So, you would think an acronym guide would be just
the thing.
That is,
until you go to Asean’s web site. The list of “A”
acronyms has almost 250 alone. Asean even has acronyms
for its acronyms, such as ACCICG, which stands for
something called Afta-CER CEP Implementation and
Coordination Group. There’s also CCCA, or Coordinating
Committee on the Implementation of the CEPT for Afta.
Huh?
So many
acronyms, so little time. It’s enough to make the
average reporter say Awgee (Asean Working Group on
Environmental Economics). It’s getting harder and harder
to ACE the smorgasbord of initialized phrases. Clearly
there are FANS of such word forms. Yet, they make it
hard for anyone else to connect the DOTS and GRSP
Asean’s mission.
Good
IDEA
Asean as
a group isn’t a bad IDEA. It’s vital that Asia’s
wealthier developing nations join hands with weaker
LINKS for the good of the region. Closing the GAP will
result in more trade, increased entrepreneurship and
higher living standards. It will also pull more
investment INTA a region that’s seeing less now than
prior to the 1997 Asian crisis.
For all
the optimism in the AIR about
Asia’s future, a new TAC is needed to overcome poverty and
modernize markets.
Asia needs every
TIPP it can get from more developed economies, which is
why Asean invites policymakers from around the globe to
make TRIPS to its confabs.
Asia
needs to spread the benefits of growth ASAP to retain
the ATTEN of global investors. The group says it AIMS to
do just that, encouraging nations to put more emphasis
on improving infrastructure, education and legal
systems.
Strangely, Asean’s acronym fetish is an apt metaphor for
why its ARC of success hasn’t been more impressive. It’s
a reminder that such regional groups often seem to put
more emphasis on process than substance—on peripheral
things like the language it uses than the development
policies it champions.
Acronymitis
At a
time when Southeast Asian nations need to strengthen
financial systems, Asean is distracted by rewriting its
charter. Last week’s gathering has gotten bogged down by
the formation of a human-rights body and feigned
surprise that military-ruled
Myanmar
was opposing such a step.
The
dustup is but one example of how efforts to deepen
economic integration, make progress on FTAs (free-trade
agreements) and compete with China and India can get
lost in bureaucracy. With any luck, Asean will, at
least, have a new acronym for the process by the time
things wrap up.
Granted,
acronyms seem to have a special place in the hearts of
many Asians. They often start out with the best of
intentions—a simple way to get across big and complex
names or issues with fewer syllables. The question is
whether Asia has too much of a good thing on its hands.
Baffled
in
Manila
Wikipedia.com, for example, carries a page listing
Singapore’s most popular compound abbreviations. It
mentions everything from ROM (Registry of Marriages) to
SPF (Singapore Police Force) to LKY (Lee Kuan Yew).
The
Philippines also has its own Wikipedia acronym page, and
its text-message-obsessed population can be quite
creative with them. Often, upon receiving an SMS there,
visitors need to ask for help. Such was the case
recently when a friend SMS-ed me to veto a restaurant I
recommended as VLB (very low budget) and Sabena (such a
bad experience, never again).
Ford
Motor Co. might not be amused to find some Filipinos use
its name to express Fast Only Rolling Downhill and Found
on Road Dead. Bayerische Motoren Werke AG may not know
BMW can mean Big Money Waste or Born Moderately Wealthy.
Once in Manila, upon arriving late for a meeting,
Alitalia SpA’s name was used to describe me: Always Late
in Transit, Always Late in Arrival.
Acronymity
Perhaps
it’s fitting the Asian Development Bank, which also
suffers from acronymitis, is based in
Manila. It even refers to its headquarters as HQ. Visiting the HQ,
you sometimes hear staffers say something like “What’s
the ETA for BOD at PNRM to discuss the MOU and possible
TA project with GOV?’’ It’s always a good time to ask
where the men’s room is. Oh, sorry, W/C.
Yet,
nothing seems to compare to Asean, which must employ a
small army of acronym generators (acronymographers?).
Amid such alphabet soup, one wonders if the message is
getting muddled, if not misunderstood. If groups like
Asean aren’t careful, they may fade into acronymity.
William Pesek is a Bloomberg News columnist. The
opinions expressed are his own. |