WE were there the whole day when it was still summer all over that seaside Calatagan resort for GMA’s “Kapusolympics: Watermania,” marking the giant network’s 58th anniversary celebration. But on June 22, while Typhoon Frank was sending pigs, chickens and iron roofs into the air, we happily sat through the actual showing of “Watermania” in the comforts of our home via GMA’s Sunday Night Box Office.

Being reminded of the warm sunlight, humid air and calm seas, it was a three-hour break from the chaotic weather outside. Our viewing took place while most members of the household had dozed off after dinner.

And we were delighted to have the TV set all our own, seeing the warm bodies, literally, of our more beautiful stars under the Kapuso Network.

“Watermania” began with Dingdong Dantes taking the torch from Alfred Vargas, who was Makulay for the second year, and lighting the Kapuso ring of fire. Immediately, the oath of sportsmanship was recited by GMA’s prized talent, Richard Gutierrez.

Ironically dressed in backless-sleeveless dress in a beach setting, Regine Velasquez sang “Celebrate the Day” mixed in the Kapuso theme chorus. More than once, she raised her hands for emphasis in her usual charming way. Only then did we notice how her arms have gathered some—for lack of a better phrase—unused, stored energy that the likes of Dr. Vicki Bello would cringe at. For Regine’s sake, any health-conscious individual would suggest that she take up some exercise, especially any of those water sports.

Anyhow, we saw less of those unused energy deposits when the first game, the raft race or tuloy tulay, began at the spacious man-made lagoon. It is where the six teams, each representing the color in the rainbow (blue, red, green, yellow, orange and violet), row on a raft. Whoever gets to the other side first obviously wins.

Led by sportsman Richard Gomez, the Blue Team beat the others who looked like children just learning how to float and move a big batya on the water. The Blue Team had Michelle Madrigal, Kevin Santos, Aljur Abrenica, Arci Muńoz, Carlos Concepcion, Maggie Wilson and Jessi Corcuera, with reserve players Regine Tolentino and Jan Manual.

If our memory serves us right, Gomez was a former member of the Philippine rowing team and one of his famous first TV ads was for a clothing company that had him rowing toward the horizon. It’s a game he played liked a pro.

Gomez was the real guy to beat as he inspired his teammates to cooperate, act as a team and win. The Blue Team also bagged the top score in the following games they competed in, like the Sisid Run. It was a race done in the Banco Filipino pool, which entailed the players to pass through a series of underwater obstacles.

Sisid Run was part of the middle games, in which the six teams were divided to compete into three sets. Each set had two kinds of water games to play. Each set must have only one winner. Afterward, the winning three teams in each set competed for the top three prizes, while the losing teams vied for the third, fourth and fifth prizes.

In Set A, the Blue Team faced only the Yellow Team. There were two games, Sisid Run and the Bi-Sikad (Zip Bike Race).

The Yellow Team was composed of Paolo Paraiso (team leader), Ehra Madrigal, John “Belli” Feir, Ryan Yllana, Stef Prescot, Glaiza de Castro, Lovi Poe, Paolo Ballesteros with reserved players, Tess Bomb and the Roco twins.

In Set B, the Violet Team and the Red Team competed in two games, Pasa Puzzle (each team must complete a puzzle, whose pieces can be found under water in the slide pool) and Ski Papaano (Plunger Jaust).

The Violet Team was composed of Mike “Pekto” Nacua (team leader), Rhian Ramos, JC de Vera, Antonio Aquitania, Kris Bernal, Prince Estefan, Jen Rosendahl and Chariz Solomon, with Dennis Trillo as reserve player.

The Red Team had Joey Marquez (team leader), Bubbles Paraiso, Luis Alandy, Keempee de Leon, Sheena Halili, Marco Morales, Rochelle of Sex Bomb, and Mang Enriquez (who allegedly lost his eyeglasses in the pool), with reserve players Joseph Bitangcol and Rich Asuncion.

In Set C, the Orange and Green teams competed in two games, Monkey Bars (unlike in the military school obstacle race, this is done on a pool) and One, Two, Stop, One Two Go (explaining this game will require us tons of paracetamol tablets).

The Orange Team was composed of Marco Alcaraz (team leader), Eula Valdez, Ranier Castillo, Mark Herras, Sandy of Sex Bomb, Bruno Folster, Krissa Mae Arrieta and Diego Llorico, with Jeremy Marquez as reserved player.

Alcaraz later joked that his team has the edge because the members are composed of three girls, five boys and a horse, referring to Diego of Bubble Gang. Diego is a comedian who possesses what could be the thickest lips known to mankind and a flat nose with big holes.

The Green Team was composed of Wendell Ramos (team leader), Jopay Paguia, Jay Aquitania, Arthur Solinap, Chynna Ortaleza, Rey Talosib, Diana Zubiri and Mike Tan, with reserved players Abby Cruz and Mart Escudero.

All the water sports for the middle games in each set took place simultaneously, and it was almost sunset when the finals were held.

In the final rounds, the three teams with the lowest scores in each set competed in a game called Boat is Sinking (Batya By Golly Wow). The three winning teams vied for the grand prize in the ultimate race, aptly called Karerang Karera.

It was almost nighttime when the final results were known. The Gomez-led Blue Team emerged grand champion, each member sharing the P100,000 cash prize. In his usual tactless self, Gomez said in Filipino, “We’re lucky to have beaten the others. Look at my teammates. They’re all small people compared with them, the taller ones [pointing to Alcaraz’s team].”

Good thing Gomez didn’t use the word pandak (an adjective often used by former President Joseph Estrada in describing his former vice president), or else his teammates could have had thrown him back in the pool near the stage.

At least Diego could have contributed to it because the second-place prize went to the Alcaraz-led Orange Team (P50,000). The third-place prize was a tie between the Violet and the Red Teams, sharing the P25,000 cash.

The fourth-place prize went to the Yellow Team while the Green Team finished fifth. They shared the P10,000 cash prize. At least they had gas money going back to Manila. It’s all for fun anyway.

For the special awards, Gomez won the Clear Shampoo (obviously one of the sponsors) Precision award. He was cited for “efficiently strategizing and organizing his team’s efforts.”

The Fitrum (another sponsor) Looking Wow award went to Eula Valdez (Orange Team), who showed her best form—sexy and composed—even when she was struggling to stay afloat in all the pool-based races. Her award was “for looking great all throughout the grueling games.”

The Hapee Toothpaste Hapee Smile award went to JC de Vera (Violet Team) “for having a winning performance and keeping a great smile all throughout the competition.” 

The Extra Joss (energy drink) Extra Strong Performance award went to Luis Alandy (Red) “for displaying exemplary strength, mental alertness and having an energetic performance during the games.”

The Wings Active Guard Performance award (Wings Active Powder Detergent) went to Alcaraz “for actively taking on the challenging games and giving an all-out performance.” He got boxes of detergent enough to wash his clothes for a year.

Actually, all winners of the special awards went home with boxes of products given by the corresponding sponsors, enough to last them till the next Kapusolympics.

We heard there was a victory party that followed. Seeing the artistas dance and drink and lose themselves under the Calatagan moonlight could be a sight worth writing about but at the time, we were already feasting on batya-like servings of the famous Batangas bulalo and crispy pata in a cozy restaurant in Tagaytay City before we headed back to the big city. It’s our version of Kapusolympics—pigging out.

Like Regine, we don’t mind having stored unused energy in our arms and tummy.

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