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Scene:
The boardroom of a pro basketball league
Commissioner: There are several networks bidding for the
rights to air our league. There’s the incumbent Alphabet
Channel and new bids from the Showbiz Network, the Sun
Sports network, and the Great Movies Airing network.
Governor
1: Okay, so which one looks best for us?
Governor
2: We should choose the one that will pay us the most
money.
The
Board (collectively): Yeah!
Commissioner: First things first, gentlemen. (Signaling
for order) The incumbent Alphabet Channel…
Governor
3: Well, it looks like we’re the only show worth
watching on their channel and we’re only on thrice a
week! Is that a plus?
Governor
2: Maybe. Since they heavily promote us.
Governor
4: But if no one watches on the other days, how does
that help us? I think they portrayed us as too “masa”
so we lost our upscale viewers.
Governor
1: Good point. They were good for us but maybe its good
to look elsewhere.
Commissioner: How about the Showbiz Network?
Governor
1: They’ve got the highest-rating channel nationwide and
the biggest cable network. We could reach a wider
audience.
Governor
6: Wider reach means more viewers and more viewers mean
more advertising opportunities. And more advertising
opportunities mean more money for us.
Governor
3: That’s great. That way I’ll have the money to pay my
players. I can’t keep losing them to other teams since I
can’t keep up with rising player salaries.
(Snickers from some Governors)
Governor
2: Partner, I like them because they’re the No. 1
network, but isn’t their forte more on showbiz? They’ve
done a good job with college ball but how does that
translate to professional basketball?
Governor
7: I saw Semi-Pro with Will Ferrell. The more gimmicks
you do the more fans you bring to the games.
Governor
3: Yes, with their resources and stable of actors and
actresses they can do anything. They can even dramatize
the life stories of our players. People will empathize
with them and become fans of the teams.
Governor
4: But won’t that take away from our own stable of
superstars? Fans might become confused. Where does
basketball begin and acting end?
Governor
1: Well, we already have ballers who are good actors
when it comes to flopping inside the paint.
Governor
7: That’s right. And I’m not so sure I want their
reporters shadowing our players and reporting to the
world what our players had for lunch and what they do in
their spare time.
Commissioner: Yeah, all that, ahem—chismax—might
backfire on the league. Baka ma-over ’yung
pagkama-drama. So up next we have the bid of the Sun
Sports.
Governor
8: But they’re cable. Not everyone has cable?
Governor
9: I beg to disagree. Everyone has cable. Remember that
commercial years ago about “bawal kumabit”? They said
that a lot of households have illegal connections which
is why they don’t register.
Governor
5: “Kabit.” I’m not sure I like that word. Wasn’t
it the cable arm of the Showbiz Network that came up
with that ad?
Governor
9: All the more I’m not sure about this showbiz angle.
Maybe we can consider Sun Sports. They have an exclusive
basketball channel.
Governor
8: But isn’t showbiz what Filipinos want?
Governor
3: Maybe before, but judging by the last elections, even
guys like Money Pakyawan didn’t win.
Governor
9: Let’s not forget that Sun Sports has the National
Basketball Association (NBA).
Governor
1: How does that help us? Isn’t the NBA where amazing
happens?
Governor
10: Pero aren’t we a clone of the NBA? After all
we copy a lot of their innovations—we can come up with
something similar…like, “PBA. Hanep!”
Governor
8: Astig!
Governor
10: No. Hanep.
Governor
8: Yeah. Astig.
Governor
10: No. Hanep.
Governor: Ah, I meant astig ’yung “hanep”.
Governor
10: That’s what I said.
Commissioner: Ah, gentlemen, how about the bid by the
Great Movies Airing network?
Governor
2: Parang ayoko. People might associate the
network’s initials with our head of state. With our
chief executive’s popularity rating at an all-time low,
I’m not sure it’s an association we want.
Governor
4: Oo nga. We might be coterminus with the
administration.
Commissioner: So whom are we going with? Have we reached
a consensus?
Governor
1: Yes, we have. We recommend that we go with Sun
Sports. After all, they got the World Cup and the
Beijing Olympics. Maybe we can tie-up with the NBA and
they can send a team overseas to play our teams. Like
what they do in Europe.
Governor
8: But won’t we lose?
Governor
1: Not at all. We’ll be seen in the USA and Europe and
that increases our profile and awareness. Besides, we
already opened our doors to more Fil-foreigners. With
Mexican and Middle Eastern imports already playing,
we’re going to become more global.
Governor
10: Hanep! |
