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Cebu’s
epitome of rectitude, Monsignor Achilles Dakay, said the
rectal scandal, courtesy of the Vicente Sotto Memorial
Medical Center, was, at bottom, all about “the
homosexual act that was done very badly.”
I had to
ask my confessor, “Is the monsignor suggesting he knows
a better way to stuff a can of body spray up a rectum?”
Now, I
don’t want to be accused of taking the good priest’s
words out of context, so here is his statement as
reported in another paper:
“We are
asking everyone not to forget or to bypass the main
issue: The wrong act of a gay with another man,” Dakay
said in an interview over the Church-run Radio Veritas.
“People are not talking about what happened before the
operation—the homosexual act that was done very badly.”
I still
can’t tell whether he’s talking about morals or
criticizing an insertion technique.
Anyway,
something else Dakay said made me wonder about the
mental health of his God, for he said, “We should
sympathize with them because they were born that way and
made that way, but if they did what is prohibited, then
that is another thing.”
I ran
back to my confessor, “God made them ‘that way’ and then
prohibited homosexual acts, is God a sadist?”
“God
works in mysterious ways,” he replied.
“It’s an
analyst’s nightmare,” I said.
I
remember my catechism teacher used to tell me, “God made
us into His image and likeness.”
I would
invariably ask, “Including Hitler, serial killers and
homosexuals?”
And I
would feel his rod against my posterior. . . the wooden
one used for spanking, of course. There’s no need for
the Pope to apologize to me.
What
options are left for homosexuals?
A
homosexual can pretend he/she is not and marry someone
from the opposite sex.
A
homosexual can opt for celibacy; it’s a healthy
lifestyle, look at Mahatma Gandhi’s physique. By the
way, Gandhi was assassinated, but for reasons unrelated
to his lifestyle choice.
I was
going to add that a homosexual can become a priest or a
nun and never have to worry about doing what Dakay calls
“what is prohibited” but, on second thought, it’s better
to leave that thought in the closet.
Dakay’s
decayed moral pronouncement enraged the gays,
justifiably, I believe. But I hope they don’t do a
Suarez.
If you
will recall, Rep. Danilo Suarez was going to lead a
posse of 28 Southern Luzon congressmen to the Vatican to
charge Archbishop Oscar Cruz for conduct unbecoming a
bishop. Cruz had said giving Holy Communion to a public
sinner is like throwing the body of Christ in a garbage
can.
At first
I didn’t take Suarez seriously, but upon further
reflection, I realized Suarez was telling the truth.
Today’s
bishops regularly feed the Body of Christ to known
gambling lords, drug lords, human-rights violators,
smugglers, plunderers, cheats and liars. Cruz’s
uncompromising behavior is unbecoming under a regime of
donor-driven prelates.
On
another front, Cruz finds himself rear-ended by Justice
Secretary Raul Gonzalez. He who once picked on widows
Corazon Aquino and Susan Roces, refused Subic rape
victim Nicole an audience, insulted her and her mother,
blamed Peace Corps volunteer Julia Campbell for getting
herself murdered, suddenly became a knight of the
Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corp.’s (Pagcor) female
employees. He reversed the dismissal of the Manila City
Prosecutor’s Office and resurrected the libel case
lodged by Pagcor female employees against Archbishop
Cruz. And it’s not because Cruz compared Gloria Arroyo
to a garbage can. Oh no, not at all.
Gonzalez
is a born-again defender of Filipina womanhood. He’s
standing up for the rights and reputation of the women
of Pagcor, and he’s going to give us a demonstration of
rectal rectitude in action.
Buencamino is a fellow of Action for Economic Reforms
www.aer.ph. |
