WHAT would I do with P250,000?

Well, I can buy a secondhand van and convert it into a school bus. Or have a certain part of our house fixed (I live in the house where I grew up, and some parts of it are already worn and torn). Or if I were comfortably rich, I would put half away in the bank and then donate the rest to charity. But if I were freakin’ rich, and I have millions tucked away in the bank, then I would just give the whole to charity. Maybe to the poor residents of Isla Pulo in Navotas, the God- or maybe Mayor Toby Tiangco-forsaken place featured last week on ABS-CBN’s The Correspondents, where residents do not have clean water or electricity, and have to scrounge for a few pesos for their subsistence.

Not Marjorie Barretto. The councilor would use it to buy Unexpected, the debut CD of her sister Gretchen Barretto.

Well, that is according to Gretchen in an interview. She related that while Claudine will buy just a couple of them, Marjorie vowed that she’ll buy 1,000 copies. If a CD is worth P250 a pop, then that amounts to P250,000!

What will Marjorie do with 1,000 copies of Gretchen’s CD? Give it maybe to her Caloocan constituents? Or maybe resell them at a higher price to...uhm...I wouldn’t know whom.

Didn’t Marjorie run for office last election? I’m sure just like any typical politician, she promised her constituencies this and that. One thing I’m sure is that she promised to help the poor. All politicians do that anyway.

Of course, I’m not sure if she elaborated on how she planned to help the poor. I don’t know if she promised to improve the facilities of their public library. I wouldn’t also know if she promised to give scholarships to underprivileged but deserving students. I also don’t know if she promised to build more day-care centers, or donate medicines to health centers in her district, because God knows the poor could not afford to buy even common cold medicine. Maybe she vowed to fix roads or provide low-cost or even free hospitalization. I really don’t know….

What I know is that Gretchen said Marjorie will use P250,000 from her hard-earned money to buy 1,000 copies of her CD....To that, Gretchen said, “O ’di ba, ang yaman n’ya!” or something to that effect, while she continued to rag her younger sister Claudine for being kuripot for just buying two CDs.

I went to a popular record bar the other day to inquire about the CD. The saleslady was excited that I asked about it. She went on to say that a lot of people are buying the CD. I asked her since when did all this panic-buying happen, and she said ever since Gretchen announced that she was fighting with Nadia Montenegro, and ever since that infamous walkout on Entertainment Live (she got offended with the VTR introducing her live interview, as it was about her fight with Nadia).

I went on to probe the saleslady and asked her what kind of people buy Gretchen’s CD. She said all kinds, but many of them were women. She added that maybe people could relate to the songs that Gretchen recorded (a motley of classic love songs). “Maybe they find her beautiful and they’re her fans,” continued the saleslady in Tagalog. Until another saleslady butted in, also in Tagalog: “Maybe they just want to diss her album!” This was followed by a cackle.

And to think that her self-described “sexy” video to supplement the promotion of her carrier single has just been released. Based on the snippets that were shown, it features a scene with Gretchen in skimpy lingerie with gorgeous model-actors Zanjoe Marudo and Jon Avila.

Anyway, who knows why people bought Gretchen’s CD? I don’t know. Maybe the first saleslady was right, or maybe it was the “cynical” one who hit the proverbial nail right on the head.

Who knows?

And who knows why Marjorie bought or will buy 1,000 copies of Gretchen’s CD? Maybe it’s to show support to her older sister who, at the height of a long-past tiff between the siblings, revealed that she was the one supporting Marjorie’s family back when money wasn’t abundant. Or maybe she’s simply ecstatic that she and Gretchen’s “kept brother-in-law” were acknowledged as Gretchen’s inspirations?

When the Great Becomes Divine

TO understand the current work of Cary Santiago, one must comprehend those of his kindred brethren: Azzedine Alaia, who painstakingly studied Madeleine Vionnet (mistress of the bias cut), who immensely influenced Madame Gres (with whom Santiago seems to share the same feel for material and movement).

A peek into the mind of Joel Lamangan

Professionalism.

If there’s a very important virtue that young artistas of today continue to learn from 53-year-old director Joel Lamangan, it’s that “P” word, which seems to elude many other aspiring actors and a few veterans as well. For them, it means arriving on the set on time with their lines already committed to memory.

Gab Fab: So much for Marjorie Barretto’s constituents

WHAT would I do with P250,000?

Well, I can buy a secondhand van and convert it into a school bus. Or have a certain part of our house fixed (I live in the house where I grew up, and some parts of it are already worn and torn).

Ugly Betty’s Michael Urie gets personal

MICHAEL URIE’S portrayal of Marc St. James, Vanessa Williams’s conniving, sarcastic and flamboyant assistant on Ugly Betty, has fans tuning in every week to follow his sassy repartee and wicked shenanigans.

Spotlight on nonfiction author Joel Osteen

THIS month, Powerbooks Specialty Store picks Joel Osteen as its Author of the Month. The Smiling Preacher’s first nonfiction book, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential,