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WHEN it
comes to cooking together, an otherwise compatible new
couple can break down faster than a sauce sabayon. The
annals of my own dating history are singed with kitchen
mishaps.
 During
a triple first-date cooking night at my best friend’s
place, each couple helped produce a meal of chicken pot
stickers, spaghetti with meat sauce and Key lime pie.
Nobody wanted to take control; we socialized as pasta
turned to mush and pots boiled over. What began as a
promising soiree ended early, with six scowls and three
inedible courses.
It took
years for me to try it again. More recent date nights,
with just two, have produced a fair share of
questionable outcomes in my own kitchen. The Mr. Sizzle
in my life shares my love of spicy food, but he
unwaveringly multiplies the amount of seasoning. As a
result, delicate curries and simple stir-fries leave me
gasping for water, bread or anything to alleviate the
heat. There are still a few kinks to be worked out.
 Conferring
with Barbara and Jeff Black, the married coowners of
four Washington area restaurants, helped put my
situation into perspective. Now parents of two, they met
as students at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde
Park, New York. On rare mutual nights off from their
busy restaurants, they have learned to coexist in their
Kensington, Maryland kitchen, which Jeff describes as an
aisle lined by appliances. Secrets of their
cooking-together success include “throwing him out” into
the back yard every now and then to fire up the grill,
Barbara says.
Some of
their suggestions sounded like good couples counseling
in general: Each partner should have separate
responsibilities; compromise, honesty and good taste are
required. No surprises there. And Jeff’s advice about
restraint struck a chord. With overeager chefs working
in tandem, it’s easy to go overboard and end up with a
refrigerator full of leftovers. Few people can nurture
romance while clutching an overstuffed belly.
Here
are other rules that may keep the spark alive without
igniting dangerous flames:
■
For a
special meal at home (say, Valentine's Day), don't
venture into uncharted territory. “It's nerve-wracking
enough to prepare a romantic dinner,” Barbara says.
■
Take the
time for a test run, and adjust measurements,
temperatures and cooking times as needed. After
following a magazine recipe for supposedly foolproof
Engagement Chicken, Mr. Sizzle and I opened the oven to
a thoroughly undercooked bird. We opted for takeout.
■
Make
sure to keep sharp knives on hand, but not for the
reason you might think. Eliminate unnecessary surprises
during cooking by taking advance inventory of utensils
and supplies. Remember what happened when fictional
heroine Bridget Jones used blue string instead of
kitchen twine: blue soup.
■
Set up
an orderly array of prepared and measured ingredients,
called mise en place. It may keep two hands from
reaching simultaneously for the only cup measure or
cutting board in the kitchen. “It should be like a
cooking show, where everything you’ll need is all there
and ready,” Barbara says.
■
Don't go
overboard with the menu. Barbara recommends a special
roast, such as a standing rib roast, which can cook in
the oven while you focus on other, more intricate
dishes.
■
For an
easy dessert, a sabayon with berries is Barbara’s
favorite. One person can tend to the berries while the
other whisks the custard. Sabayons can curdle if not
properly tended, so the dish benefits from having extra
hands on deck to handle other tasks.
■
Have
only one person at the stove, “or it gets ugly,” Jeff
says. “Have the other person decorate the table, find
wine and make sure that the other elements are in place.
It's not just the menu: Music, candles and romance make
the dinner more special.”
■
Finally,
a sink full of dirty dishes is a surefire deal breaker.
Even if the cleaning must wait until morning, take
responsibility for your mess. The Blacks' rule: “You
cook it, you clean it.” |
