V is for Vapid. While costar Allesandro Nivola fares better, Jessica Alba, the star of this remake of the hit 2002 Hong Kong supernatural thriller, affirms her singular gift for making bad acting look effortless.

The Eye, Rating: MM 

IN the preposterous, ripped-off-from-another-hit-Asian-thriller The Eye, a blind concert violinist has an eye operation and starts seeing all sorts of things she never signed on for. Bald phantoms snarl in the street, dead guys with chewed-off faces dangle in the elevator, and apparitions of burning people flail about her living room.

What’s preposterous in all this is the notion that Jessica Alba, the film’s distressed star, would play the violin. Making oneself invisible, which she does so instinctively in Fantastic Four and every other movie in which she appears, is one thing. But taking on a superpower that requires soul and artistry is really stretching it.

If anyone could make a delusional cornea transplant patient unsympathetic, it’s Alba, a vapid beauty with a singular gift for making bad acting look effortless. What the movie really wants is someone with the personality quirks to make a dopey script look credible.

As celebrated violinist Sydney Wells, Alba is required to look anxious, stir up scenes in public places and squawk, “I see the shadows, they’re everywhere!” She gets to enjoy the company of two actors who, by contrast, are far superior to their material, Alessandro Nivola and Parker Posey. One hopes they both got fat paychecks.

Nivola plays Dr. Paul Faulkner, the handsome but incredulous eye specialist who thinks Sydney is merely having a rough transition period into the world of the seeing. Faulkner comes around to Sydney’s point of view before the nick-of-time climax, for reasons not automatically evident in Sebastian Gutierrez’s screenplay. Posey marks time as Helen, Sydney’s perversely dedicated sister. Helen demonstrates her sisterly love by throwing the disoriented Sydney a noisy surprise party immediately upon being released from the hospital after life-changing surgery.

Aside from Posey and Nivola, Alba also benefits from the attention of her two directors, David Moreau and Xavier Palud, which breaks down to one for each eye. The most frightening aspect of this supernatural horror film—a remake of the 2002 Hong Kong thriller—is that there was a 114-minute version, before someone took pity and snipped it down to a lugubrious 97.

Urban Monologues: A Valentine Road Trip

MY girlfriend Nikki and I enjoy taking road trips. After a long week of deadlines and being swamped with work, we sometimes take road trips to sort of disappear from city life. We both love what we do (we’re both architects), but sometimes you really have to take a break and spend uninterrupted quality time with the person you love.

Lucky home tips from Master Chau

IN the Year of the Earth Rat, what lucky charms can we put in our house?

Say, for the living room, bedroom, kitchen, garden, garage...and so on?

To know what kind of lucky charms to put inside the house, it is important to check the direction of the main entrance door, the bedroom (in relation to the entire house), the bed headboard and the bedroom entrance door.

Reeling: Kicking Death with ‘Bucket List’

I AM not about to pick a fight but here are some words from critics about the film The Bucket List. Roger Ebert of Chicago Sun-Times called it a “laff riot followed by dime-store epiphany.”

It’s not the story that’s scary

IN the preposterous, ripped-off-from-another-hit-Asian-thriller The Eye, a blind concert violinist has an eye operation and starts seeing all sorts of things she never signed on for. Bald phantoms snarl in the street, dead guys with chewed-off faces dangle in the elevator, and apparitions of burning people flail about her living room.

‘And the Orange Goes To...’

THE sweeping World War II romance Atonement won Britain’s top film honors on Sunday. The movie, which won the Golden Globe for Best Dramatic Film and is nominated for seven Oscars, went into the ceremony at London’s Royal Albert Hall vying for 14 awards being handed out by the British Academy of Film and Television. Its only other win, however, was for production design.